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Star Wars - Episode II, Attack of the Clones (Full Screen Edition)

Star Wars - Episode II, Attack of the Clones (Full Screen Edition)

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Rating: 4 stars
Summary: Phantom put to rest
Review: Where to start? The plot? First things first - Jar Jar returns, but his screen time is mercifully short. Darth Maul isn't back. And, for those who haven't heard this a thousand times already, for its flaws, it still beats "Phantom Menace".

The plot - it's been a decade since the events in "Phantom". The fractious intergalactic republic under Chancellor Palpatine is already coming apart at the seams. To keep the republic united, Palpatine seeks both emergency powers from the senate and its consent to form a massive army - the Jedi Knights is stretched too thin. On the republic's capitol of Coruscant, former Queen (now Senator) Amidala arrives to cast her vote on the subject of the grand army, but finds herself targeted. Assigned to guard her are Obi Wan Kenobi, now a Jedi Master, and Anakin Skywalker. A decade older, "Ani" is on the verge of becoming a master, but he's too arrogant and impulsive, and everybody reminds him that he's no Jedi yet. Complicating things for Ani are fears for his mother's safety and that he's heartsick for Amidala (who is now shorter than he is). When another assassination attempt is barely thwarted - following a high-speed chase through the flying streets of Coruscant - the Jedi council split the two up, sending Ani to guard Amidala as she returns home to Naboo while Kenobi tracks down the assassin. While Skywalker and Amidala explore their deepening feelings for each other, Kenobi follows the trail first to the watery world of Kamino (whose buildings and inhabitants seem strangely reminiscent of those in "The Abyss") and then to the fiery desert world of Genosis. On Kamino, Kenobi tangles with the armored warrior and bounty hunter Jengo Fett, and we meet the clone Fett adopts - a young boy named Boba. We soon also meet Count Dooku (Christopher Lee), a renegade Jedi who leads the secessionist forces, but warns Kenobi of a threat even greater than himself. By then, Ani has given into temptation (no, not that temptation) he abandons Naboo and heads off to Tatooine to rescue his mom. When the rescue doesn't turn out right, and in a painfully abbreviated scene, Ani gives into his feelings and lashes out. Skywalker hasn't enough time to grieve or reveal the depths of his emotional torment before Amidala "convinces" him to help her rescue the captured Kenobi on Genosis - which is revealed to be a house a huge warrior-droid factory, seething with welding machines and conveyor belts (ala "The Temple of Doom".) When the rescue attempt ends in failure, an army of Jedi materialize out of nowhere, fighting an army of warrior droids with their lightsabers.

I love Star Wars, so I'll end on a higher note, but start on "What doesn't work" - while fewer of the offensive stereotyped characters get meaningful screen time, Watto is back in a short scene in which his stereotype seems even more overt than in "Phantom". The main characters seem more flesh & blood than they did in "Phantom", but not by much. The lines seem as stilted and leaden as ever, not helped by the predominance of English accents, but the script compensates by giving the characters relationships (even Jango Fett is somebody's father figure; you can almost imagine him giving bounty-hunting lessons to the young boy who will put Harrison Ford on ice). Too many characters do little more than appear (like Jimmy Smits as Bale Organa, or the young teens who will grow up to adopt Ani's son; the republican archivist who appears in one simple scene early on has a simple line, but she delivers it better then Dooku's allies. I kept wishing for her to turn into a Sith Lord). There are plenty of "zoom scenes" (like the podracing in "Phantom"; here it's the car chase thruough the skies of Coruscant, which looks like Times Square, the Ginza District and LA from Blade Runner, followed up by a chase through an Asteroid belt). Too much of "Attack" relies on speed - reducing the heroes to CGI cartoons played back at high speed. Then comes the mindbending epic of climaxes - when, atlast, the Jedi Army finally reveals itself to us: if you've ever seen "Henry the Fifth", imagine Agincourt fought with legions of lightsabers instead of long swords. But, just when it looks like the Jedis will have their moment - the clones appear, and the movie degenerates into another CGI battle - with the valiant Jedi's forced to give the stage over to the faceless clones who seem less animated than the Gungans. C3P0 is back - mostly for ill-timed comic relief (during the onslaught of the Jedi army).

Still, it's Star Wars, and the script reaches for emotional depths not even imagined in "Phantom" with luscious effects and sounds, cluing us in that something big is on the way as "Phantom" never could.

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: Now That¿s More Like It!!!
Review: "Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones" is exactly what the doctor ordered. Easily ranking right up there with the original movies, Episode II has just the right amounts of everything Star Wars fans have been looking for: TONS of action, cool weapons, cool vehicles and stunning landscapes and a strong storyline.

THE STORY:

Senator Padme Amidala's life is threatened by an assassination plot due to her role in pushing through a Senate bill to authorize the formation of a Grand Army of the Republic. Obi-Wan Kenobi is assigned to uncover who is behind the assassination plot (which takes him throughout the universe) while Anakin Skywalker is assigned to protect the Senator (and former Queen), which leads to the love story for this particular episode.

Tons of foreshadowing of things to come as Anakin has tons of issues to deal with. Too bad there weren't any anger management classes back in the days of the Republic. We're also introduced to a few characters who return in the "later" episodes.

COOL THINGS:

Again, the foreshadowing stuff is just awesome. The action and car space-age technology scenes drive this movie. In no particular order, here are my favorite scenes of the movie:

1. The last half-hour or so as the massed Jedi take on the bad guys.

2. YODA IN BATTLE!!! (short scene, but WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY cool)

3. Jango Fett versus the Jedi

4. Anakin and Padme in the droid factory

5. Yoda training padwan learners.

6. Count Dooku puts Darth Maul to shame.

7. Darth Sidius' pretty ingenius, yet sinister plan.

8. The millions and millions of "Clone Troopers."

Overall, this is a GREAT edition to the franchise and should erase any bad taste that some may have had as a result of Phantom Menance. The action is 10X more intense and the story, while a little confusing because of its depth is a LOT more enthralling.

Can't wait for Episode III

Highest Recommendation.

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: I was soo Surprised
Review: i thought this was going 2 be a dumb boy movie but it wasn't. star wars episode 2 attack of the clones was really good. I LIKE JAR JAR ...

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: This movie is very good
Review: I enjoyed this movie because in the orginal trilogly we never saw all thes action scenes and so many lightsaberfights. Although the chemisrty betwween the two tennage leads could have been better, the over sight of the entire movie was very good.

P.S. : Yoda + Lightsaber = coolest scene

Rating: 3 stars
Summary: Another fine mess.
Review: Here we go again.

Just how much of a mess can you make of a movie with a couple of hundred million dollars? A big one. Thankfully, Attack of the Clones is head and shoulders above such shlock as Stargate, Independence Day, Mission to Mars, and Planet of the Apes. In other words, it isn't idiotic. It's also better than The Phantom Menace, which isn't much of a compliment, I know, but there you have it.

But there is a heck of a lot wrong with this movie, nonetheless. First, it is, well, boring. Not as boring as Phantom, but enough so that you start wondering what you're going to be doing after the film--about ten minutes into it. You can almost feel your wrist watch being drawn to your face.

Second, the acting is pretty poor. The teenage Anakin is a pouty, simpering, overacter. You just wanna slap him when he starts whining about being misunderstood and all that. He's almost as bad as the actor who played Anakin in The Phantom Menace. Okay. Nobody is that bad. But he still is a total miscast as the future Dark Lord. He must be one of George Lucas' relatives. Has to be. Also making a poor showing is Natalie Portman. There is nothing to her performance. She phoned it in.

Third, there is the script. God, don't they teach screenwriters how to write dialogue? Those romantic musings between Anakin and Padme are so syrupy, so fake, so tone deaf--puke city, in other words. It's like some geek who couldn't even get the nerve to ask a girl out, let alone romance her, came up with a geek-fantasy version of what young lovers--or soon-to-be-lovers--might say to each other. Wait a minute! Maybe that's it! Have you seen pictures of George Lucas as a teen? If he ever spoke to a girl, let alone asked one out, I'd eat my hat.

Fourth, the special effects have only a little magic. Yoda, entirely digital, is entirely unconvincing, looking like Shrek wandering around a live action flick. And his dialogue, the totally cliched grammatical mashings included, sound silly. Has Frank Oz totally lost it, too? He can barely pull off the lines he's been given, most of which are poor.

Fifth, Jar Jar Binks. He's even worse than in the last episode. It makes you cringe every time he speaks. Uggh. If you didn't think he was a sick racial stereotype the first time around, just watch this film. You'll be convinced. I promise. "Ol' Massa Lucas, heesa been good to meesa." It's is awful, and it's unimaginable that anyone with a single thread of decency wouldn't leave those scenes on the cutting room floor.

So, there you have it. I'm giving it a three to save room for the really awful movies. This isn't awful, but there's not much of a story (more of a documentary), nothing to get your sense of adventure engaged, and, worst of all, it bores. Some of the scenery is pretty, but so what? And in an interview before the release, an NPR reporter asked Lucas if there was a danger of the digital arts supplanting true, imaginative story-telling. He didn't get it. He missed the point. He started rambling about how digital is just another medium. Did he not listen to the question? Did he hear only what he wanted to hear? This movie, I believe, answers a resounding, "Yes," to both of those questions.

Rating: 3 stars
Summary: Well, I suppose that it could have been worse...
Review: I suppose that it could have been worse...but then, it could also have been better...A lot better.

The problem with George Lucas is that he only listens to George Lucas. Apparently no one around him is willing (or able) to stand toe-to-toe with him and point out obvious things like:

1) You have no usable script,
2) You should hire qualified actors (ala Alec Guiness in the original)and pay them accordingly,
3) Special effects alone does not a good movie make (uh-oh I'm sounding like Yoda, or is it Jar Jar?)
4) A 2 foot tall green Keebler Elf type character looks silly as a Samurai ninja type jedi fighter
5) You have no usable script (but then I repeat myself...)

When Mr. Lucas brought in a different Director to make Star Wars IV "The Empire Strikes Back", he ended up with the movie most pick as the best of the 5 (to date). But Mr. Lucas didn't like what the Director ultimately did with that movie.

George should stick to what he does best (producing, marketing, etc.) and let those more qualified do the rest. He should have hired a qualified Script Writer, a qualified Director and a qualified Casting person to do get the right actors/actresses. After all, he certainly has enough money to do it right. But of course, he isn't willing to give up 'artistic control' of his flagship. ...

Rating: 4 stars
Summary: Movie seemed focused more on looks than story...
Review: This long-awaited installment in the Star Wars saga is breathtaking, and a big improvement over Episode 1. But is the movie any good? Well, yes, and no.

Yes, the effects and visuals are breathtaking. The film looks absolutely gorgeous. The battle scenes are stunning. The art deco renderings of Coruscant, the fairy-tale sunshine of Naboo, the cathedral-like Jedi halls, and the rain-soaked water world of the cloners, and their ultra-clean city dwellings, are all brilliant. Art direction for the 21st Century, to be sure. Much of the film is smartly done.

And no, the dialogue is at times childishly written. The transition of Anakin from troubled teen to Dark Side bait is choppy, uneven, and not really believable. The romantic elements are heavy-handed, and poorly acted (by Christensen, not Portman). All of these beautiful moments and scenes, visuals, effects, and other elements were each mindblowing, pristine, gorgeous, and perfectly designed... but the way they are pieced together is not. In short, it seems the story was an afterthought, and a flimsy way to tie all of the wonderful visual elements together.

The original Star Wars broke the barriers of (then) limited special effects, introducing new thinking as well as new techniques and technologies in the field of movie magic. "Clones" is no different, what with the practically seamless digital animation. In fact, the only "fake" moments come when an actor is inserted or morphed into a scene through computer animation (most notably when Mr. Lee is riding his sky-scooter). Other than that minor quibble, the film is a breathtaking collection of jaw-dropping effects work. But let's face it; effects alone a good movie does not make.

I like Ewan McGregor as Kenobi. Some have criticized him for "channeling" Alec Guiness, but out of all the cast, he is the only one who has to merge his performance with the original actor from the series. More power to him, I say. He's doing just fine. I also like Natalie Portman and Ian McDiarmid. Samuel Jackson is a bit moody and broody, but he fills his role suitably.

As for the young Mr. Christensen, he needs to go back to his high school drama club. Sorry, but for every scene where his performance was perfect, there had to be at least two or three where he botched it. In the final analysis, I just couldn't buy Anakin's transformation to the Dark Side. Sure, there are moments when you see it, but then the actor throws what amounts to a teenage temper tantrum, and ruins the moment. His reading of the romantic dialogue is stilted, phony, and forced, especially when placed against Portman's far more believable romantic reading.

Now, I realize fans of the Backstreet Boys or whoever will just love this guy and his looks, and I'm sure that one day he will mature into a fine actor. I really hope this starts to happen before Episode 3, because again, looks alone a good movie actor does not make, just as effects alone cannot carry a movie. I just can't believe Lucas would let some of these scenes with young Mr. Christensen make the cut, and to be fair, the burden here falls more on Lucas than Christensen. As a director, it was his job to bring out the best performance the actor could provide, and that was just not the case with Mr. Christensen's performance.

But that's not all. What the movie really seemed to be missing was a bad guy. In the original trilogy, it was Darth Vader, hands down one of the top five movie villains ever. In "Phantom Menace", it was Darth Maul, again, a brooding force for evil. Here we have a bounty hunter, and Christopher Lee. The bounty hunter is the standard second tier villain in an action movie, which is just fine to provide an obstacle for the heroes until they take on the head bad guy. He and his son (the future Boba Fett), both do a great job of providing this challenge for our heroes. But the head bad guy (Lee) just wasn't all that menacing, and had very little screen time.

Now, there is no question about Christopher Lee's talent (and I like the idea of his being in the Star Wars saga, sort of picking up the torch of his long time friend and colleague Peter Cushing). His character is just fine, but came off more as another second tier villain rather than the big threat (like Vader and Maul). One fun thing is to watch the magnificent Lee, the second most famous Dracula in film history (after Lugosi), playing Count Dooku, complete with black cape and gothic setting. And the sabre duels he has with Skywalker, Kenobi, and Yoda are some serious throwing down (although a bit reminicent of "Empire Strikes Back"). But is he as bad a dude here as Vader or Maul? As much as I love seeing Mr. Lee, I have to say, no, not really.

Some inconsistancies; C3PO and R2-D2 wander all about Tattooine without recognizing it (or Obi Wan), in the classic Star Wars. The same could be said for the future Darth Vader, who orbits the planet in the 1977 film as if it were just any old planet in the Empire instead of the one he grew up on. And lastly, if the technology of the Star Wars universe is so advanced that they can attach a cybernetic device that acts as a fully functional limb, then why can't they reattach the severed limb itself? Heck, we can do that in many cases today with our "primitive" medical science. Oh, well, we can chalk that one up to dramatic licence.

To be honest, I had to see this movie twice before deciding I liked it (most of it, anyway). This is not your father's Star Wars, however, and if that's what you go in expecting, you will be very disappointed. This is a teen pop, Brittany/n'Sync Star Wars, aimed at a decidedly modern, younger audience.

I give it one star for the bad romantic dialogue and the pointless, slapstick abuse of C3PO, five for the visuals, four for a young Kenobi in action, and five for the battle sequences.

Bottom line, "Attack of the Clones" is worth a look.

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: The Boy Can't Act, And The Man Can't Write.
Review: There are only three reason for watching this version of Star Wars, and that's firstly, Yoda fighting it out, secondly, the sinister ending and lastly, watching Christensen getting his arm and limb sliced off. It's the parting reward for everyone who agonised and endured through his mediocre acting. I just can't believe until this day how on earth Hayden Christensen could have landed the role of Anakin. Frankly, his acting reminded me of high school plays with really dead, undeveloped performances. Especially in the beginning half, it sounded as though he was just reading from a stupid script and not acting. I felt so cheated. George Lucas could have done so much better here. Christensen looked so pathetic (like how difficult is it to do teenage angsty pouty lips) next to Natalie Portman and Ewan McGregor. SEND THE BOY FOR ACTING CLASSES since you can't kick him out of the next installment.

The lines were so stilted and stupid. ("I hate it when he does that", "You must join me!!!!") The romance scenes were no better also, I was cringing right through cos everything was so cheasy. And why do all the bad people die such sudden and unexciting deaths. First it was was Darth Maul with just a quick slice right through and now Jango Fett with a simple slice of the head. I was like "Huh? That was real quick." And what's truely annoying is that these two characters are real interesting and George Lucas didn't even bother developing them at all before just killing them off so suddenly. It doesn't make sense. And getting a guy who wrote for Indiana Jones to co-write for Star Wars? *Roll Eyes* Such a bad move.

I know this is going to sound so weird, but The Phantom Menance in my opinion was more tolerable than this version because at least it hit the bare minimum of reasonable or good acting. This film doesn't even hit the mark when your lead actor can't act.

Rating: 2 stars
Summary: Digital Wallpaper
Review: Many people now forget (or weren't there to remember) that George Lucas' spectacular beginning had little or nothing to do with special effects. How is it possible that the man responsible for "American Graffiti" -- a great movie with warmth, humor and wit that produced a generation of fine actors -- could produce such a howling dramatic vacuum?

"Attack of the Clones" is a movie where the contrast between what you're looking at and what you're listening to is truly migraine-inducing. Turn the volume off and you have an astounding dreamworld -- any 1930s SF magazine title come to vibrant life. Turn the volume up and the illusion is destroyed instantly by a script so dead it should have a toetag.

Star Wars has never been "serious" entertainment. And acting has never been its primary focus. The question here is, has it ever been joyful, fun entertainment? Of course! But this interminable, leaden movie, saturated with exploding ships, lasers, swooping car flights, saber duels, etc., never gets the important parts right. All the humor is mechanical, not just C3PO. The script holes and gimmicks are bad enough not to be worth arguing about (R2D2 and Yoda can do what? oh...) There are no big surprises because we know the future history; that leaves character development to carry the overelaborate plot, but there is little fresh or sympathetic about the actors.

Any high school thespian club could produce better talent than the eye candy leads, who can't give (or possibly are not allowed -- hard to tell which) even the faintest hint of spontaneity. Every cringe-inducing line of dialog is delivered flatter than flapjacks. Their scenes together are beyond weak or disappointing; they are teeth-grating endurance tests that make Jar Jar Binks seem like Cary Grant. The capable Ewan McGregor struggles to make his flaccid lines palatable. Only the villains -- Christopher Lee, Ian McDiarmid, and the grumbling Watto -- have any character at all.

George Lucas has made a 100% digital movie that is 95% devoid of humanity, a two-and-a-half hour CGI demo reel. His spectacular personal vision can't overcome the treatment of actors as mannikins. Please call the next movie by its true name, "video game", or get someone competent to write and direct.

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(One sympathy star for a cast trapped in a script from the Dark Side, and one star for the anonymous army of animator clones who had the patience and talent to make this throwaway look so good.)

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: Outstanding movie in DIGITAL format ! Welll worth the [money]
Review: This movie was outstanding and only the retards didnt like it. I have never seen a movie in digital format and this just blew me away ! There were NO visual or sound imperfections at all in the digital format. Padme/Queen Amidala was great to look at thru the entire movie ! I just hope they show more cleavage of her next time ! Most movies are not even worth the $7 or the time but Stars Wars was !


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