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Planet of the Apes

Planet of the Apes

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Rating: 4 stars
Summary: Visually Stunning, Yet Downright Irritating in Parts
Review: In 1983 there premiered a wonderful TV miniseries allegory about the rise of fascism and monsters in human skin . . . a miniseries so good that I highly recommend it be viewed by anyone with a love for liberty.

That miniseries was "V," a none-too-subtle parable that always leaves me with chills, because they got it right.

This new rendering of "Planet of the Apes" is a clumsy attempt at the same thing, though in this case it fails miserably because the underpinnings upon which it's based don't hold up.

Don't get me wrong -- I thought it was a visual marvel and a landmark achievement in filmmaking. It's only when Burton & Co felt they had to say something of importance that I wrinkled my lower lip in disgust.

Indeed, much of the movie plays as a cheap and insulting shot at Republicans. The nastiest of the apes even quotes Barry Goldwater, replacing "liberty" with "apes," turning a noble idea -- that a jealous vigilance against enemies of the freedoms we hold dear can never be wrong -- into something sinister, probably racist, homophobic, and downright slave-traderish.

In this light, the catch ending, the final scene, makes sense, but only in this light. If you try to figure out how the narrative gets from A to B in that final shot, you'll fail, because there's no logical connection. But viewed as political commentary, I get it -- and I think it's cheap.

The original "Planet of the Apes" was chock-full of political allusion and sentiment, but it, unlike this new version, worked (largely because the follies of human nature in general, not a particular shcool of political thought, are lampooned). In fact, a major plot change between the two movies, that this Planet of the Apes is not Earth, weakens any commentary value the Burton version otherwise might have had. Even if you want to go along with its anti-Republican stance, you're still hung out to dry by the fact that it's something happening way out there, and not here.

So, in the final analysis, it's a movie worth seeing -- there is more than a little humor, and references to the original series of movies range from nearly imperceptible to downright heavy-handed -- but I could have done without the obvious one-sided political bashing.

Rating: 3 stars
Summary: Be Prepared To Lower Your Expectations
Review: Tim Burton did an excellent job with the ambiance of this movie. The apes are incredibly detailed and the musical score by Danny Elfman fits the story. Look and listen for scenes with references to the previous movie of the same name (if you saw it.) They are amusing and help to keep your interest. Unfortunately, the acting by the, "dirty humans," is aweful and the ending is....well...I don't want to spoil it. However, it will make you say, "What?" If you are older than 10 years of age, you may want to wait for the DVD and hope there is an alternate ending. I am giving the move three starts because it is an excellent attempt to retell the original story and has an awesome look and feel, but it lacks the depth to make it a classic.

Rating: 4 stars
Summary: Planet of the Apes
Review: I was surprised at how much I liked this movie. It was creative and innovative. I loved Mark Wahlberg and all the special effects. Definitely a must see summer movie.

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: Best Planet of the Apes ever!
Review: I recently saw this movie. I thought it was great. From the very begining, it invoked a sense of dread and the adventure yet to come. It had everything, a great plot, great action, and awesome actors. It was a story of love, hate, envy , and rebellion. A Must Watch!

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: Planet of the Apes
Review: What a waste of time and money to see this flop in the theater. The costumes were poor, the special effects were non-existant, the acting was on par with the third graders and what story!? I would have been better off with network TV and summer reruns.

Rating: 3 stars
Summary: A cultic movie
Review: The problem with a lot of high-budget, special effects-packed American movies is that they are concentrated more on the special effects than on the story line. In Europe, however, more often than not, they actually pay a lot of attention to the development of characters and the story.

The Planet of the Apes will no doubt be a hit because North America grew up on the previous versions. The special effects were great, the apes looked very real. The other part of the movie I liked was the fact that at the end I was actually able to feel what the main character (Mark Wahkberg) felt when he saw where he came. It was scary.

Rating: 4 stars
Summary: Wonderful Ape actors
Review: My one complaint about this entertaining movie is that the human characters, especially Walhburg, were rather flat and uninteresting. Our "hero" just seemed like a bystander most of the time.

Everything else was great. All the ape characters important enough for names were interesting and/or amusing. The slaver in particular was hilarious! Helena Bonham Carter is great as the radical daughter of an old chimp senator who advocates living in peace with humans. Tim Roth as Thade seemed like pure aggression in motion, a savage villian who dominated every scene he was in. There were a few minor plot holes, but far less than in most movie SF in recent years.

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: Lost Planet
Review: Warning: This review might spoil parts of the movie so read at your own peril.

Planet of the Apes is a silly, mess of a movie that only serves to show that the mouths of the ape makeup can move better after 30 years of Hollywood special effects innovation. The story is far less inventive, the dialogue a mash of reworded quotes from history and the old series that are supposed to serve as pithy points to ponder but come off laughable. In movies like this there's supposed to be pure fantasy but the fantasy should hang together. And that's the main problem. If all the apes on the space vehicle are chimps and all the apes on the planet descended from these chimps, why are there orangutans and gorillas? Are we supposed to believe the space ship will restart (like the VW in the cave) after thousands of years? Can you be saved from nuclear fallout merely by standing behind the source of the explosion? If you want to see great ape costumes and a good story, rent the original. Actually, rent any of the movies in the original 5. They're all better than this mess!

Rating: 4 stars
Summary: Apes ok
Review: I thought the movie was pretty good. No, it isn't like the original, but it was not meant to be. There are several points in the movie where you must just accept things at face value, but it is fun and entertaining. The only real fault I have with this movie is the ending. It doesn't make any sense, and it does not seem to be logically possible. The ending was simply an attempt to shock and confuse people, and served no other purpose.

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: Its a dud
Review: This has to be one of the most disappointing movies of the year. The acting was poor and the story had so much removed from it that it had me yawning half way through. There was no character development at all so you didn't feel anything for the characters, there was the odd funny moment but certainly nothing to make this piece of garbage worth seeing.

I was thoroughly disappointed, especially considering how wonderful the original movies were.


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