Planet of the Apes

Rating:
Summary: A planet where apes evolved from men?
Review: This modern remaking of Planet of the Apes is ultimately a victim of its own hype. It is by no means a bad movie, but it is also not the blockbuster thrill ride of an adventure it was forecast to be. Then the whole brouhaha about Charlton Heston's cameo appearance and the lines he delivered gave the movie an undeserved stigma of mockery. The whole gun control mythology built up around Heston's dialogue is as inane and improper a talking point as I have ever seen. As for the movie, it does offer a lot of good, sometimes impressive action complemented by better than average special effects. The apes, with a couple of exceptions, are also remarkably realistic. The real weakness of the movie is the plot. It seems simple enough. Mark Wahlberg, in an adequate performance, plays Captain Leo Davidson, who decides to go after the lost space-going chimp he has trained to explore an astronomical anomaly. He gets sucked in to the cosmic anomaly and thrown out several thousand years in the future on a planet run by intelligent apes (not monkeys, it is important to note, especially if you are in the company of apes). Here humans are enslaved under a brutal system rife with abuse and mockery. Not all apes support the policy of militant slavery as best represented by the cold and ruthless General Thade (Tim Roth). Ari (Helena Bonham Carter), a senator's daughter, believes that apes and man can coexist, and she ends up helping Davidson and his gang of escaped slaves to safely flee the city. Unfortunately, what Davidson leads the humans toward is the ultimate showdown between apes and men on the planet. A little monkey ex machina is thrown in toward the end, and this plot point works fairly well. Not content to stop here, though, the filmmakers throw in a final twist that I applauded the first time I watched the film but regard with some ambivalence now.

Unfortunately, Planet of the Apes gets too cute for its own good. Ari, a central player in events, does not carry the force she should, in my opinion, because the same makeup artists who did an outstanding job on General Thade and others tried to make her look too human; at any rate, she doesn't exactly scream "ape" at me. Then there are all of the little in-jokes and attempts at witticism. I'm all in favor of including the obligatory "get your hands off me, you damn dirty human" line, and I would have even welcomed the classic "a planet where apes evolved from men" quip (which was not used here, for good reason as things turn out). However, the babbling slave trading baboon-type character with his constant complaints and ill-fated use of the "can't we all just get along" line annoyed me to no end. Adequate characterization is lacking in several places in this movie. I'm not sure why the human Daena (played by the exceedingly human female Estella Warren) was even included here; her obvious feelings for Davidson remain unexplored, as Davidson seems to have eyes only for the much less enticing ape woman who helped him escape. I also cringe whenever I see Kris Kristofferson in a movie, but I guess that's just my own problem.

While the movie does seem to pull punches with the storyline, it is quite generous in terms of the extras to be found on the DVD. I have not watched any of these special features because I'm not impressed enough by the movie to really care about them, but the fact that the bonus DVD does offer commentary, five extended scenes, a music video, six documentaries on the making of the film, and some other goodies should not go unnoticed by anyone thinking about buying Planet of the Apes. I will say that the movie can be a lot of fun to watch, but it took too much of a low road in terms of storyline and characterization to win my enthusiastic approval.

Rating:
Summary: A fun, but pointless remake
Review: I really can't put it any clearer than my opening line; the original was far from perfect, but it achieved what it set out to, and was enough of a cult favourite that it inspired 4 lesser sequels (the mark of any true BLOCKBUSTER).

As with the shot-by-shot remake of Psycho, it's just another example of Hollywood's tiredness. There's nothing new under the sun, so to hell with it, we'll just bring those apes out of mothballs.

If was impressed with anything, it was the technical aspects of the film, the make-up artists, and the sound-editing. It's truly a great sounding/looking DVD, but all the extras contained within do not compensate for what's basically an old, overdone concept.

If you're more into picking up DVDs to simulate the feel of a theatre, then by all means pick it up! The rest of us will settle for excellent cinema instead.

Rating:
Summary: Should have left well enough alone
Review: This is proof that some movies should not be remade. The only reason I gave this 3 stars instead of 2 is because of the makeup. It's impressive. Other than that the movie is a total loss. I hope they don't bother with a sequel...The REAL Planet Of The Apes movie has already been made.

Rating:
Summary: Great message, cool planet, average movie..
Review: I have never seen the original Planet OF The Apes, so I had no biased going into the movie. I would liek to see the orignal now and see which I prefer.

I loved the message that this movie had in it... Which was one about religion(wait for the end) and how assumptions are wrong. The apes looked amazing and I loved the way they fought, it looked very good and it is how I would imagine an Ape fighting. The idea for the apes and humans to be able to talk to each other was great because this way it helps show the Humans pain and the Apes cruelty.. It is clear that these emotions are present to both the apes and humans. This means that the Apes are capable of cruelty and not just being careless. I think that this movies plot can be compared to the civil war. Its about slavery.

... The movie had a stunning univerese in it with all the architecture, weapons, items, and the apes themselves. The apes don't all look the same, you can clearly tell one from another sicne they are played by humans and there is no loss of emotion in the costumes.. You can see every movement the actors make.

So why did I give the movie 4 stars and not 5? well that lies in the fact that the characters were not devolped at all and that some of the acting in this movie was like a B-flick. Still I found Planet Of The Apes to be a very good movie, worthy of a lot more recognition.

I cannot comment on the content of the DVD, I watched the movie on tv.

Rating:
Summary: Burton plays it safe, Marky Mark plays it bland.
Review: A lot of bluster arose before the unveiling of Tim Burton's "reimagined" version of "The Planet of the Apes," to which the eccentric Burton responded by making his straightest movie ever. The apocalyptic tone drained away, the 2001 film is a by-the-book action flick, done well, but no more, with a twisteroo ending that isn't worth explaining. Mark Wahlberg is a bland human hero, while Helena Bonham Carter and Tim Roth steal the film as a helpful, civic-minded ape and a warlord general. Burton delivered a bombproof studio hit with few if any risks attached, instead of employing his hit-and-miss spin; in this case, the latter would have been the smarter artistic play but a financial reach.

Rating:
Summary: DO NOT watch this awful movie!!
Review: I'm sure that many of us have seen the original Planet of the Apes. You know, the one with Charlton Heston? It was a pretty good movie. The new version has almost nothing in common with it, which also happens to be it's biggest saving grace

This truly horrendous excuse for a movie starts out about fifty years in the future. A space station is training monkeys to fly spacecraft. A chimp flies into a magnetic storm and the "hero", Leo Davidson (Mark Wahlburg) goes after him. Leo finds himself transported to another planet, upon which he crash-lands. It's a planet ruled by apes with humans as slaves. Leo teams up with Ari, a "human rights" female ape and eventually leads them all to freedom.

Sound like a good movie? It might have been, but the screenwriter was a preachy, imbecilic nimrod. This movie will pummel you mercilessly with its politics. That in and of itself isn't so bad, but do we really want a self-righteous lesson on why religious people are stupid when we go to a movie like this? Do we really want to know about why Republicans are so evil and Democrats are so wise and noble in a movie like this? This movie is a prime example of why Hollywood should leave the politics for movies about politics. It's just another example among many that Hollywood is full of self-satisfied yuppies.

The acting is so-so. Mark Wahlburg gives a slightly better-than-mediocre performance, but it's certainly not memorable. Tim Roth plays the evil General Thade, but his character consists of a fascist cardboard cutout and little more. He spends the movie growling all of his lines. I can't really blame him, it seemed to be about the only thing to do with such a worthless role. Estella Warren (the "romantic interest") may be very easy on the eyes, but her acting (when the screenplay decides that she needs to) is flatter than a pancake in a garbage compactor. The other assorted actors seem lost as well.

The dialogue is clunkier than my poorly maintained VW bug, the plot is thinner than Kate Moss, and the character development is as non-existent as Jimmy Hoffa. The ending (which was probably where the writer's acid trip climaxed) has to be the absolute worst I have ever seen. It made absolutely no sense whatsoever, I kid you not. In the original, the apes thought humans were inferior because humans were mute and stupid. Humans speak and are intelligent in this version, so why do the apes think that humans are inferior? We sure don't know, and I'm sure the screenwriter doesn't either. The biggest problem is that the whole movie thinks it's such a great piece of art, when really it's just a reeking wad of stringy mucous shot from a projector onto the screen.

The fact that Tim Burton agreed to work on this project makes me wonder if he (and everyone else involved in this train wreck) is illiterate. Surely any sane person who can read wouldn't have come anywhere near the script for fear that touching it would corrupt their immortal soul. Burton does an okay job of directing, but while it's obvious that this is a Tim Burton movie, much of his style is missing. Danny Elfman does the score (as he does for almost all Tim Burton movies), but it's not his typical fare either. It's like everyone working on the movie didn't care too much about it. All they wanted out of it was a paycheck.

The action scenes are pretty clichéd, uninspired and predictable. You'd think that with apes fighting each other, they could get some really sweet fight scenes into the movie. Nope. All they do is jump around and pound on things. This is about the only natural ape behavior they bothered to add, and it's also the most unwelcome. Come on, they had chimps mating with orangutans! With that kind of factual vacuousness, you'd think they could have given us some better fights.

About the only scene this movie has in common with the original is where the hero kisses the female monkey. That's the one scene we could have done without! I guess they figured that the rest of the movie [was]so bad that a little more couldn't hurt. It did.
The ONLY good thing about the movie is the cosmetics. It seems like the make-up guy was the only one that really cared about the movie. Even so, some of the apes come off looking like Whos from Whoville in The Grinch. The slave-driving, petty excuse for comic relief orangutan bore a disturbing resemblance to the Grinch himself.

The one thing that really ticked me off was that the critics gave it rave reviews. If we didn't already know it, this is proof that the critics don't give two farts in a windstorm about good writing, acting, and directing. As long as the movie has what they consider to be a "good message", then it's a good movie. The critics should step out of their ivory tower and actually watch the movie instead of going into a state of euphoria whenever the characters on screen say something about a major political issue.

Don't ever see this movie. If you want to watch The Planet of the Apes, watch the original. At least it had a lot of what this movie lacks, like character development, plot, etc. I would rather be eaten alive by cannibals than watch this awful movie again. It's not the kind of movie you can make fun of, either. Oh no, it's too self-righteous and wrapped up in it's "message" to care about anything else, much less make-fun-of value. Just avoid this movie like you'd avoid a leper.

Rating:
Summary: Not a great effort especially from Burton!
Review: I really had no desire watching this whole movie the first time i saw it. Something to me about some mean apes has never really captured any of my amusement. I also wanted to see the remaking vision of Tim Burton but alas, it was a poop! The movie has a slow pace and mark walberg and the dumb blonde chick don;t really put up an out of this world menace to the apes as heston did. Instead it's a little more stylish but i felt the environment was too enclosed for some scenes showing alot of difficulty was done even to finish them! Anyways the features are decent but if you are an apes fan than I guess you have a good reason of buying this dvd!

Rating:
Summary: Really Baad
Review: Just awful. Undeveloped and fractured characters abound. Loose ends everywhere. Embarrasing Charleton Heston cameo (gives away a GUN). A chimp (a real one) steals the final scene. A tacked-on cliff-hanger ending to make up for the poopy real one. Kris Kristofferson! The only saving grace is the lovely Nova-... character, who gets plenty of camera time. Mark Whalberg does his best, but he's a little better than this. Try him in Boogie Nights. I'm not comparing this to the original, it's apples and oranges. There is no sweep or spectacle in this, it's all very stagey and wooden, and predictable. OK, Helena Bonham Carter is good, but she's behind that chimp make-up, and her character is also marginalised by the end. Embarrasing.

Rating:
Summary: Tim Burton phones one in...
Review: Love them or hate them, the films of Tim Burton are the product of a truly unique visual voice, laced with images that don't leave your mind easily or quickly. The brilliant, brooding Gotham City of "Batman." The eerie, cheery world of Pee Wee Herman. The topiary trees in "Edward Scissorhands." The Gothic vision of the Headless Horseman in "Sleepy Hollow."

And now we have this remake of 1968's classic "Planet of the Apes," and if there ever were a project in need of a visionary director like Burton, it was this one. But for some reason, Burton, who's normally as visionary as directors come, seemed to have the blinders on this time around.

The result is a movie that plays like a more imaginative version of generic Hollywood action movies like "The Mummy." It's nice to look at (and in fairness, the makeup effects are absolutely brilliant), and it's witty at times, but ultimately "Planet of the Apes" is - and here's a word not often associated with Tim Burton - forgettable.

...P>Most Tim Burton movies also feature at least one larger-than-life performance (the most obvious being Jack Nicholson as the Joker), but in "Planet of the Apes," there simply isn't one. Tim Roth tries for over-the-top as Thade, the leader of the ape society, but he mainly succeeds in making guttural noises. Mark Wahlberg is completely forgettable in his update of the Charlton Heston role, and the other various humans in the movie just blend right into the background.

Only Helena Bonham Carter (Ari, a "human rights" activist) and Paul Giamatti as an orangutan slave trader, add any spice to their roles. Heston himself has a nice turn as Thade's dying father, and manages to re-deliver his most famous line as an actor (yep, you know the one), and get a gun into the movie at the same time.

That little tidbit, along with lines like "extremism in the defense of apes is no vice" makes up some of this film's small pleasures, but they're too far between, and even the production, while lavish, doesn't break ground the way the original did. The ape city, in particular, was a disappointment - it ends up looking a whole lot like Bangkok. Come to think of it, much of the ape society borrows too much from familiar designs (Roman and Asian, for two) to really spark the imagination. Where was the utterly original look of, say, Gotham City when we needed it?

The science fiction here is also subpar. As the film progresses, we learn that the humans on the planet of the apes are descended from Wahlberg's fellow astronauts, and the apes are the descendents of genetically-enhanced apes that were on the Wahlberg's spaceship. At some point, the two species clashed, and the apes obviously won.

But the facts of the plot don't give us any reason to believe that's what happened. After all, the humans had guns, and the apes didn't, which, as Thade's dying father points out, would have been the great equalizer. We even find out that much of the technology on the spaceship was functional thousands of years after it crash landed. Given this, how exactly did the humans succumb to the apes in battle? If the power sources on the spaceship were still active thousands of years after it crashed, couldn't they have been adapted for use on this new planet, and used to create a technocratic human society away from Earth?

At least in the original "Ape" series, there's a logical reason why the apes became ascendant over the humans - the humans, as Heston's famous line exclaims, "blew it all up," destroying their own civilization. Did the astronauts who crash landed have a civil war? I'm sorry, but I don't see the logic here.

I'm sure that the answer to those questions might be well be the plot to "Ape" sequels, but unless they've got some very creative writers on staff, I just don't see how any credible answers could be created. And, unfortunately, that's just one more disappoint in a film that's chock full of them.

Rating:
Summary: Started pretty good, but...
Review: Let me start by saying I had no preconceptions about this movie. I'd never seen the originals. The only I thing I even knew about the originals was that the "Planet of the Apes" was really the Earth. Since this isn't true of this new version, I really went into it with an open mind.

I really liked the first half. The apes were established very well, with broad differences in character. A smarmy one, an evil one, one who, if a human, would have been a member of PETA, etc. The action was good, the concepts good. I was enjoying the ride.

But half-way through, the movie just dies. It stops short. I sat there waiting for something to happen for several minutes. And when it finally did happen, and the action exploded on the screen... it didn't make any sense. The resolution to the conflict was incomprehensible. And the very very end itself made ABSOLUTELY no sense at all.

I haven't been this disappointed in a movie in a long time. I felt especially cheated since the first half was so good. Oh well.