Rating: 
Summary: I'm disappointed
Review: I was a huge Andrew Keegan fan WAS.. I don't know what he was thinking when he signed to this movie. It was horrible the acting the storyline nothing made sense. And I gave 3 stars because I got to see Andrew's ...)ets but don't waste your money buying or renting it.
Rating: 
Summary: I loved this movie...as different(ok, weird) as it was
Review: I watched this movie with my boyfriend who thought it was the worst movie ever. I however loved it. I can't believe how many bad reviews it got!
Rating:
Summary: I loved this movie...as different(ok, weird) as it was
Review: I watched this movie with my boyfriend who thought it was the worst movie ever. I however loved it. I can't believe how many bad reviews it got!
Rating: 
Summary: Deep in the ruins of Cinema
Review: In a future brewed by nuclear war and the constant threat of radioactive storms, few things escape the wrath of - something - lurking outside the caverns man and his constant stream of profanity inhabit. Still, as long as you conform properly and don't wish for the ways of the old world, listening instead to the garbled mixture of religion and healthy obscenities mouthed by the community's priest, you'll be fine. The problem comes when the priest's son, already furious with his father and the way that he treats his little band of miscreant friends, finds his girlfriend's virtues impeded upon and he's forced to introduce a cross and his father's eye to one another. This unfortunately leads him to be sentenced to death, one that the acting gods should have forced down his throat, but his friend's, curse their black hearts, unfortunately saved him. So, exile ensues and they wander for a time until, on the horizon, the ruins of Seattle are found.
After being buried in a storm that almost claimed their lives, the band of horrid actors find themselves in a lair that looks very much like a stage prop and some dressing rooms, confronted by two very odd, very energetic, souls. After being properly introduced to a variety of vices that include but are not limited to bodily fulfillment and a vast array of pharmaceutical delights, they find themselves slowly immersed in a most horrid existence, one that spins out of control as the theme progresses forward and Stan Winston is finally allowed to play.
Sadly, I have to say that this movie was something that I found very, very disappointing. I had thought that it, because of its Creature Feature logo, would be something of merit, walking the line that the others (Earth vs. The Spider, She Creature, The Day the World Ended, and so on) had. Unfortunately, this thought was thrown out a tad too quickly and I'm still reeling from the brunt of the shock. While I did enjoy certain things about the movie, the actors finding themselves within the ruins of Seattle and the clothing-optional settings that they brought with them, not to mention the effects by Stan Winston, the caption on the front of the movie proclaiming that it isn't so great wasn't far from the truth. Although it had its moments, I'd like to truly thank that special someone for making me drink to endure it all.
Rating: 
Summary: This movie is up there with the Rocky Horror picture show!
Review: It's amazing to see anyone rate this movie with even one star - this was literally worse than the Rocky Horror Picture Show. It had a terrible story line and had even worse acting. It was honestly the worst move I've ever seen. I would recommend this movie to NOBODY. Seriously, do not waste anymore time on this page, go search for another DVD. Go now.
Rating:
Summary: DODGE THIS LIKE A BULLET -------->
Review: Larry Clark you brave man. The cover of this DVD says "THE FUTURE S*CKS", it should have said something else like "THIS MOVIE S*CKS". One of the worse films I've seen in recent years. I have one simple question. WHY? Now I'll go on and tell you the pro's & con's. Let's start with the numerous CON'S.. 1. The acting is terrible, Will any of these actors work again? 2. Director Larry Clark's idea was good. However, he obviously didn't have the ability to put it all together. I have to scrutinize his future projects. 3. Stan Winston must have been working on Clark's budget, the F/X are not Stan Winston quality. 4. I care not to see a bunch of teenagers run around naked for an hour and a half. This is something that you can count on from Mr. Clark, being that all of his films are loaded with it. I could go on and on explaining how BAD this movie is, but I think you got it. Now for the PRO'S.. oh, sorry my mind just went blank.
Rating:
Summary: A step down
Review: Larry Clark, while known for his realism and brute honesty surely did not take a step up here. While the story made the path for a OK movie, it failed on its objective. When the kids get caught in the storm and just wake up and are clothed and all lying on eachother, it just does not seem real. The effects are somewhat korny and the graphic nudity and violence show its a Clark film. Drugs, alcohol,sex, and caveman. Not a great mix and this movie shows that.
Rating: 
Summary: The best movie ever!!!
Review: Naked girls & coke, what more do you want.
Rating:
Summary: The future [is no good] indeed
Review: One of the five creature feature films produced by Stan Winston, this is the first and only one I've seen yet, and let's just say the series has nowhere to go but up from here. It's too bad Teenage Caveman is awful because it has an interesting premise. As it goes, several teens living in caves after an apocalyptic event that occurred over a hundred years ago are discontent with their lifestyle. They eventually leave and end up in a laboratory where they meet a sexually charged couple, named Neil and Judith. Actually, that's about all the plot there is. Thrown into the mix is a lot of uncomfortable nudity and teen sex and drug use. Basically, this is a typical Larry Clark film. Prior to this, I'd never seen any of Clark's works, but I've heard mostly good things about his films, so it'll be interesting to see how this blemish affects his future projects. Teenage Caveman not only fails as a good movie in general (meaning lots of horrible acting, dialogue, and direction), but it fails at being a fun horror flick. The gore effects are unconvincing CGI, the action is badly choreographed, and there's nothing the slightest bit suspenseful or scary about the movie's villain.
Rating:
Summary: Richard Hillman is Awesome!! ` KimberliesWorld@aol.com
Review: One of the worst things about a movie is when you see the potential it has and witness it falling flat on its face. The story is about a post apocolyptic world in which we are sent back to the days of cavemen, living in tribes, and killing our own food...that is when we can find it. From the very first scene we are treated to half ass acting and plot holes. One of the leaders is murdered, blah blah, a different leader likes to rape girls, blah blah, and now a group of kids go out on their own. Yeah, they're caught in a storm and when they wake up they are dressed in retro clothing and they are all laying on top of each other provocatively. Yeah...ummm....ok, so anyway, then two people at this house they are at inform them that they are the ones that saved their lives and ummm, yeah...then they all take a bath together. And have sex. Oh sorry, am I ruining the movie for you? Trust me, I'm not. If you're familiar with this director, you knew this is where everything was going. Oh, and I guess when you have sex with someone you infect them with something and they die or something. Hey, I'm just trying to write a review as half-ass as the movie. So blah blah blah, stuff happens, and within the last 5 minutes we get to see the creature....and he barely does anything thanks to some confusing camera work. So the idea seems alright but was executed piss poorly. This was a terrible waste of Stan Winston's talents as an effects artist. Fortunately, the two other "Creature Features" I have seen were damn good films. Earth Vs. The Spider was a psuedo superhero story with good directing and a good story. She-Creature was more of the same albeit with a different story and more of a slower pace. Each great on their own merit.
|
