Spiders

Rating:
Summary: It Ain't Any Better
Review: Having recently been impressed by the lizards in Komodo, I was hoping the rubber monsters of B-movies would finally be replaced as the price for CGI effects becomes more reasonable. I was amusedly mistaken. This movie contained the usual sci-fi B-movie clichés: alien DNA, Area 21 (I guess Area 51 attracts so many visitors they don't even bother conducting experiments there anymore), government bioweapons, monsters that have nothing better to do than hunt every human down and kill them within an hour and a half...

At some point we find out alien DNA (from a couple of aliens at the beginning coincidently) was injected into a spider in the space shuttle. Obviously this had to be done at zero G's, it IS alien DNA...Duh. These giant spiders were supposed to be used as bioweapons. Of course, I was glad to see this is where my tax dollars are going. If only we had giant spiders to drop during the war against Saddam...well I guess after they kill all the bad guys they would keep killing people until spiders ruled the world. According to the movie, US soldiers can't kill them and they're bulletproof. Does this never enter anyone's mind when designing a bioweapon?

The spider gets bigger every time it reproduces and eventually runs amuck in some college town. The spider actually gets better as it increases in size. I think every city should have some sort of giant monster emergency procedure like for tornados. Then in case of a REAL giant monster emergency you won't run around and scream like an idiot until it kills you. Monsters probably get so sick of hearing people screaming it just kills them to shut them up.

In conclusion I think this movie is neither bad nor good. Normal movie viewers will find it appalling. Horror fans will get a kick out of the many gratuitous squirting fluids. Supplements are very minimal. Obviously a straight-to-video release isn't going to have outstanding audio or video, but it doesn't detract from the movie.

Rating:
Summary: This Movie Amazed Me!!!
Review: I bought this movie on DVD used at a pawnshop in Canada Ontario called The Beat Goes On. I thought it would (be bad) but bought it anyway. I LOVED IT. Gary Jones did an exelent job on this. It was an improvement from his other movie called Mosquito which was bad. The special effects were great. I enjoyed watching the making. The spider looks so real. Great movie. It's one to buy on DVD.

Rating:
Summary: HORRIBLE
Review: I have seen a lot of bad movies in my day, but I honestly have to say that SPIDERS is THE WORSE film I have EVER seen in my life. I am a film critic, so I give movies a break when they have low budgets, but it seemed to me that when they got the idea to make this movie, they just started, and began making the plot (and the special effects) as they went along. The acting is bad, the effects are terrible, the directing is silly, and the plot is sub standard (even for this genre). There was actually a scene where it looked like the Spider was made of paper and they just walked it by the camera on a stick. It took every thing in me not to turn it off and throw it in the trash. If you have an enemy and you want to torture them, send this movie as a gift. Humm, what is my boss' address, anyway?

Rating:
Summary: the budget wasn't big
Review: if the budget to this movie were big(which it wasn't)the speacial effects woouldn't be so obvous that it was computer aminted. the expolisions in this film are SO fake you can tell they're computer aminatied! this movie is ... i caught it on the sci-fi channel it seemed more of a rip off of alien only using spiders!

the movie doesn't contain good dialog at all it's all very corny and even these "actors" can't act like they're trying to convense the viewer they feel the way they do.

skip this film it's too chessy!

Rating:
Summary: Not bad at all
Review: If you are a fan of b-movies, don't believe the terrible reviews that other people have given this movie. For a low-budget, direct-to-video cheapie, this movie boasts great effects...I mean, honestly, when the spider gets to be its largest size it looks more realistic than what it did when it was smaller. It's really amazing. The movie's storyline is fast-paced, interesting, and suspenseful. It's not so much a horror movie...more like an episode of the X-Files...70% sci-fi, 30% horror. There are many tense scenes, such as the elevator shaft sequence, but the producers knew they weren't taking themselves seriously (which is a good thing). Much better than other recently released animal/monster movies such as Octopus and Crocodile. Highly recommended for fans of the genre.

Rating:
Summary: Great B movie
Review: If you like these sort of giant critter movies, you'll like this one. "They" (you know who I'm talking about) inject alien DNA into a spider - it's quite funny because when the lead character Marcy finds out about the DNA experiment, she says "I knew it would be something like that". Yet, isn't it always! They get their hands on some alien DNA and the first thing they do with it is to start injecting it into everything, like funnel web spiders. Gosh, sounded like a good idea at the time! Our characters basically spend the rest of the movie fighting one spider after another - they get bigger every time. The spiders look exceptionally good due to the fact that they're real puppets - not CGI. There is some CGI in the movie, most notably a really fake looking explosion, but that only adds some B movie charm. The main attraction of this movie is definitely Marcy, who looks incredibly (...)fighting the giant spiders in her skin-tight tank top. Of course, they fall in a pool of water at one point. Yes this movie has it all! The characters are quite likable, and the action moves along fast enough to keep it interesting. The ending is just what you'd expect, with plenty of B movie cheesiness thrown in for good measure.

All in all, I'd definitely recommend this movie to fans of the genre. It's a real throwback to the '50 and '60s movies - show people screaming, cut to giant monster approaching, etc. Lots of fun. The DVD is great - sharp, clear picture quality, 5.1 Dolby surround sound, and there's a nice 20 minute "making of" featurette as well.

Rating:
Summary: Great B movie
Review: In the Big Bug movies of the 50s, the Big Bug was almost always the result of a mad scientist who was carrying on secret research. TARANTULA (1955) with John Agar is a prime example. The focus was on the mad scientist, the handsome hero, and the Big Bug. With modern day versions, an X-File ingredient has been added: the intervention of a government conspiracy that usually involves alien DNA. In SPIDERS, director Gary Jones updates the traditional havoc laden plot to suggest that the real monsters are neither the mad scientist nor the monster itself. In its place lies a shadowy government supersecret organization that seems staffed with rather unintelligent if not fanatic Men in Black types.

Lana Parilla is a college newspaper reporter who with two other nerdy computer geek companions breaks into a restricted government installation that houses a recently returned space exploration vessel that was used to expose spiders to hard radiation. Naturally, there is an accident that allows the spiders to attack the astronauts who manage to crash land their vessel. The plot is special effects driven as itsy-bitsy spiders somehow morph with deadly speed into huge bouncing arachnids. Ms. Parilla has the obligatory romance with yet another government agent who is the good guy in this one. It was probably too tempting for director Jones to resist having the evil leader of this shadowy government CIA type rogue act as the prototypical Mad Scientist. SPIDERS is the sort of movie in which the viewer is not supposed to notice its many logical gaffes and inconsistencies, such as how Ms. Parilla needs glasses at the start but manages to see quite well enough after they get smashed. The viewer is rather asked to sit back and hearken to an earlier more innocent generation in which the greatest threat came from the Big Bug, not from the government that tries to cover up the monster's existence. Unfortunately, John Agar was the last Handsome Hero who could stake claim to this.

Rating:
Summary: Giant "Spiders" Must Now Be Politically Correct
Review: In the Big Bug movies of the 50s, the Big Bug was almost always the result of a mad scientist who was carrying on secret research. TARANTULA (1955) with John Agar is a prime example. The focus was on the mad scientist, the handsome hero, and the Big Bug. With modern day versions, an X-File ingredient has been added: the intervention of a government conspiracy that usually involves alien DNA. In SPIDERS, director Gary Jones updates the traditional havoc laden plot to suggest that the real monsters are neither the mad scientist nor the monster itself. In its place lies a shadowy government supersecret organization that seems staffed with rather unintelligent if not fanatic Men in Black types.

Lana Parilla is a college newspaper reporter who with two other nerdy computer geek companions breaks into a restricted government installation that houses a recently returned space exploration vessel that was used to expose spiders to hard radiation. Naturally, there is an accident that allows the spiders to attack the astronauts who manage to crash land their vessel. The plot is special effects driven as itsy-bitsy spiders somehow morph with deadly speed into huge bouncing arachnids. Ms. Parilla has the obligatory romance with yet another government agent who is the good guy in this one. It was probably too tempting for director Jones to resist having the evil leader of this shadowy government CIA type rogue act as the prototypical Mad Scientist. SPIDERS is the sort of movie in which the viewer is not supposed to notice its many logical gaffes and inconsistencies, such as how Ms. Parilla needs glasses at the start but manages to see quite well enough after they get smashed. The viewer is rather asked to sit back and hearken to an earlier more innocent generation in which the greatest threat came from the Big Bug, not from the government that tries to cover up the monster's existence. Unfortunately, John Agar was the last Handsome Hero who could stake claim to this.

Rating:
Summary: Don't get caught in this web . . .
Review: In the mood for a big killer bug movie? Yearn for those days when giant spiders/ants/mosquitoes (take your pick) invaded small american towns? Feel the need to sit through some more mindless dreck without any integrity or thought for its audience? Well, come on in and welcome to SPIDERS - another in the long line of awful creature-amok films that seem to litter video stores everywhere. This awful piece of celluloid is directed without any flair whatsoever by Gary Jones (yes, THAT Gary Jones of "Mosquito" fame and Crocodile 2 - what is it with this guy, didn't he see the original Crocodile?)

The story is bog-standard killer bug fare. Alien spider lands on earth, mutates, escapes and attacks small US town. Only brave reporters can track the oversized arachnid down and put a stop to it's unearthly bloodlust. Throw in corrupt government officials, hunky guy for the heroine to fall in love with and some truly awful dialogue, and viola! You have instant straight-to-video rubbish. The effects by KNB are great, and only they hold any passing interest for the viewer (however, the spider does look rather silly when he is small, and only becomes impressive when it begins to grow). Anyway, even the greatest effects in the world aren't going to save this turkey, so please for the love of god, don't be like me. Don't get tempted by the thought of a giant spider chowing down on innocent teen folk. Read this review and run, run like you've never run before from awful movies like this!

Now, fast forward months later: Can you believe this? I just went down to my local video store and what did I see? SPIDERS 2, that's what. Why have they made this? Who greenlit this? And, why do I wanna see it? Have I not read my own review? On no, please not again . . .

Rating:
Summary: Horribly bad, but oh so funny!
Review: My brother and I, when we get together, have a sort of twisted hobby: we rent the worst-looking movies we can find, just for the laughs they provide. Spiders did not disappoint! The funniest element of the movie is the dialogue of one of the sidekick characters, Jake -- almost every line contains a swear word, usually the F-word. When he's just about to bite the dust, he errupts in a burst of profanity: "F you guys, f this place, and f that f-ing spider!" At one point we started to keep track of the swearing, and ended up with a count of about one profanity per minute. We almost bust a gut laughing! Hilarious also is the set used to serve as the secret FBI outpost. It's quite obvious that the building is a high school. And how about this for lack of continuity: the heroine has her glasses knocked off in a scuffle, and the camera focuses in on them, broken, on the floor. But never is the issue raised of how she can see without them; she doesn't even mention them, and appears to have perfect vision without them. Maybe the director thought she needed to be spectacles-free for the obligatory wet tee shirt scene? To sum up, if you don't share our sense of humour, don't rent or buy this movie; you'll just be annoyed. I will admit, however, that compared to many other "critter" movies we've rented, the special effects are pretty good. Although the giant spiders have an odd, mechanical/marching gait that I found off-putting. Perhaps it's difficult to simulate the crawling movement of real spiders with digital animation.