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Battlefield Earth

Battlefield Earth

List Price: $14.98
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Rating: 1 stars
Summary: Two hours of total idiocy
Review: ...

The concept at the film's core is viable and filmworthy: Aliens overrun Earth a thousand years hence, only to have the humans they've enslaved rise up in a revolt. It's the execution that sinks the concept, like naming your hero "Johnny Goodboy Tyler" (Barry Pepper) and your villains "Psychlos" from the planet "Psychlo". And of course, the numerous plot holes and inconsistencies mentioned in other reviews (cavemen piloting old Harriers in a few days, a planet that explodes at even the slightest hint of radiation--are we to believe that Psychlo has no ozone layer?). And bad production designs (the Psychlo ships look like shoeboxes, and the aliens look like a hybrid of George Clinton and the Leather Guy from the Village People with oversized codpieces and fake werewolf hands thrown in). And awful dialogue (any one line in this film). And slanted camera work in every scene. And really dumb bad guys who aren't the least bit threatening (Travota gets a bomb strapped to his arm, and he never realizes it until he stupidly sets off the detonator). And awful FX and sound (there's no sound in many sequences, and Travolta's exploding arm looks like styrofoam). And awful music (Elia Cmiral, get into another line of work). And characters we don't care about (everyone in the film). And so on.

I did, however, like Barry Pepper and Kim Coates quite a bit. Pepper's a passionate, intense actor in the Ron Eldard mold, and Coates has an amiable goofiness about him. Both men deserve better than this. So, too, does Forrest Whitaker(as the Fat Albert sound-alike Ker). And I hail from a family of John Travolta fans, so I can only hope that this misfire doesn't end up ruining his career. He's too good an actor to be wasting his time on sludge like this. Too all involved with BATTLEFIELD EARTH, learn from this mistake, and never make a project this idiotic ever again.

Too bad MST3K is gone. They'd have had a field day with this bad boy.

Rating: 4 stars
Summary: the worst film I ever enjoyed
Review: Yes this gone off turkey is pretty bad, but the fact of the matter is that its so bad its compelling. If you enjoy watching films you know are absolute crap but enjoy tearing them apart watch this abominion. Few films can match it.

Rating: 2 stars
Summary: OK
Review: Well, I went into watching the film thinking that it would be the worst film I have ever seen. I was wrong. It was bad, yes, but not the wrost film ever. The characterization in the story actually comes across as realistic. If humanity becomes close to extinct and does not have the intelligence to figure out the technology that we have today (due to not using it), it would be natural to assume that mankind would become somewhat primitive. Barry Pepper is the best thing about the film. He obviously saw the weakness in the script and tried to give the best performance that he could. Travolta also did a nice job with his character. The alien species, the Psychlos, are a strange sort of alien race. They're a different species, detached from our planet, so they may have different ethical values and mannerisms (as well as cultural views and such).

Now, for what the movie lacked. The film was very poorly edited and written. The transition between scenes became confusing. There was one moment where a man stood on top of a cliff with his arms lifted toward the sun. Why was that scene there? Was there any signifigance to that 2 second scene? The answer: No. It just seems that the film editor forgot to take that scene out. On top of that, the minor characters were poorly portrayed, and the story itself needed more detail. The basic plot was in place and moved the story along, but certain elements in the story were left out, like how could primative man, who act like barbarians learn to fly military jets at the end of the film. Also, when the group is left to mine Travolta's gold, how could the alien ship that Barry Pepper flies go all over the country and not be noticed? These little plot holes in the film needed to be answered.

Finally, the comparison to the book by several critics needs to be addressed. The film only covered about 300 pages of the book, and many critics have said that it didn't stay true to the book. The book is 1000 pages long. In order for a film to stay true to the book, it would need to create an 8 hour long epic. Would anyone want to sit thorugh that film for 8 hours?

In a nutshell, the viewer should take the film for what it is worth, a B rated type sci-fi flick that will provide some sort of entertainment if watched with an open mind. If the viewer is not normally into the normal B rated sci-fi films, then the film is not for him or her.

Rating: 4 stars
Summary: Don't listen to the nay-sayers!!
Review: Granted, this film is not the best sci-fi film ever made, but in no way is it the worst either!! How do you cram an 800+ page book into a two hour flick? You try as best as you can. This film does decent justice to the idea of the book, even if it takes liberties with the actual storyline. I read the book 15 years ago, so I don't remember anything but the basic story line anyway. As for the movie itself, the acting is good, the special effects are very good. (When was the last time you saw the heat waves from a propulsion device on the big screen?) If you really watch the film, and get an idea of the story, it becomes very fun to watch as the Psychlos mis-interpret their information due to their bloated sense of self-importance. And the greed driven activities of co-conspirators (Psychlos) Terl and Ker are humourous as they attempt to outwit each other and gain control of the whole prize. Don't watch this movie if you are looking for anything other than fun, escapist entertainment. And whatever you do, don't pay any attention to the critics! This movie should have done better at the box office, and it would have if people were left to make up their minds for themselves, rather than have their minds made up for them by a handful of so-called professional critics. After all, if sat through "Pitch Black", you can easily sit through "Battlefield Earth" (a much better movie). Just don't expect it to be a life-altering experience, and you won't be dissapointed.

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: Comic books are "War and Peace" compared to this.
Review: All right, I'll admit it: I like Ed Wood, and even Phil Tucker. I have a collection of "cult bad" flicks that deliver me from depression at times. So, after reading reviews of this--thing--I had to see it.

After sitting through it, I looked up some other reviews. Everyone agrees: it doesn't make a "lick of sense" as someone I admire once said. The lines were surely written by an 8 year old with no sense of historicity. I mean, bad 1950s cliches in the year 3000? And does an alien even know what a head gasket is?

One of the things I had the hardest time with is that Johnny Goodguy, or whatever Barry Pepper (Will anyone hire him after that role????)'s name was, and his buddies, all had wonderful teeth. It's kind of like the human race may be well on the way out, but for some reason the aliens, I think they're called Psyclons or some moronic title, kept the dentists around. Oh, and their grammar: pretty good for people hopelessly illiterate after 50 generations of bare survival. Of course, the aliens, chief of security being none other than ol', Vinnie Barbarino in leather drag (Yeah, my neice watches reruns of that old stuff) has bad teeth. So that indicates they MUST be bad.

....

Anyway, even if you're into bad movies as much as I am, don't waste your time with this thing. I can think of nothing that rescues it.

...And if it's true they're doing a sequel, then the world IS coming to an end....

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: The movie is so stupid that owning it is worthwhile
Review: So everytime a friend visits me, I can ask, "Wanna see the most ludicrous flick ever made?" Besides, Battlefield Earth contains nearly EVERYTHING WE SHOULD NOT DO WHEN WE MAKE A FILM.

HEAVY SPOILERS WARNING

HEAVY SPOILERS WARNING

Oh my, I can't believe I saw Battlefield Earth in a theatre, yet I do not regret it. I was totally intrigued by the critics' hilarious comments that I wanted to see how bad it was. The movie barely disappointed me. So many elements from every great Sci-Fi were sampled here in an ultra-creative way! Those barbarians learned how to fly jets in a week! Not to mention how those Harriers (They looked and acted like Harriers...) and a flight simulator (Wow~ Free power supply under the ruins!)survived underground for ten centuries. The gold brick incident was plain fun, and the long-awaited climatic ending was more than entertaining. The bomb! The huge bomb was planted on his arm! And he... he... (I guess you all know what happened...) From this film we can also know that we would rather be Kamikaze than shoot the enemy building with the weapon beside us.

Trust me, this movie is just funny, and it nearly beats Monty Python and the Holy Grail. The only difference is that The Holy Grail is a fabulous film. In the world of BE, nothing is logic, and here you can see a lot you haven't imagined a filmmaker would do.

Battlefield Earth is a genuine masterpiece which accomplished nearly everything many filmmakers are avoiding to do. Watch it at least once and feel how bad a movie can be. Battlefield Earth has become one of our favorite laughing topics, and it will remain THE example of ridiculous films for many, many years.

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: Battlefield Earth
Review: Winner of 7 Golden Raspberry Awards including WORST PICTURE and WORST DIRECTOR. Need I say more?

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: Wretched
Review: I can't believe this movie. I spent the time reading the book, and it was passable. Not terribly good, but it kept me occupied. Then, I figure "Hey, the movie aught to be fun right?" WRONG. It was so bad I nearly left, and I never do that. I stayed and kept repeating like a mantra "It must get better, it must get better . . ." but it got steadily worse. Save yourself the time and trouble, don't buy this moive.

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: What Book Did John T Read????
Review: The only things that the book and the movie had in common was the Name of the book, Teryl, Ker, Johnie Goodboy Tyler, Chrissie, Earth and Denver. The rest of this Fiasco had nothing to do with the book I read. The story I read was dramatic,entertaining and thoughtful.This Hollywood attempt to make this movie entertaining failed in my opinion. Yes I know Hollywood has to make allowances to make movies within a budget, But this one should have been left on the book shelf.

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: ... oh, my ...
Review: I watched this movie about two months ago, and the mental scar tissue is only beginning to form. Hands-down, no if's and's or but's, the worst movie that will ever be made.

Imagine all the thrills and plot twists of a 25-minute GI Joe cartoon painfully stretched over two hours and robbed of any redeeming character. There are simply not plot holes--this whole movie is a yawning chasm ..., with only small islands of "plot" floating aimlessly amidst the horror.

I get the impression that the disjointed end battle is trying to emulate "Star Wars" by having a lot of different things happening at once. But when you get right down to it, that's all this movie is: A lot of things, happening. You'd think that being based on a book, it'd have a story... you'd be wrong. No cohesive plotline, no character development, period. Travolta looks like he bought leftover costumes from a KISS tour in the early 80's and shot a series of random science-fiction-esque scenes, substituting excessive vertical wipes for any real transitions and then trying to pawn off this steaming pile of dung as a movie.

I would like to round out my review with some synonyms for "bad," which neatly double as one-word reviews for this movie: harmful, scathful, baneful, baleful; injurious, deleterious, detrimental, noxious, pernicious, mischievous, vile, base, villanous; mean (paltry); injured, deteriorated; unsatisfactory, exceptionable indifferent; below par (imperfect); illcontrived, ill-conditioned; wretched, sad, grievous, deplorable, lamentable; pitiful, pitiable, woeful (painful).


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