Conan the Barbarian

Rating:
Summary: A great adventure
Review: Conan the Barbarian is designed to entertain both fans of the Howard stories and those who are unfamiliar with the character. The movie takes place some 12,000 years ago, during a legendary era when magic was real, monsters wandered the land, and the gods occasionally walked the Earth. Borrowing liberally from the official Conan canon, the film chronicles the barbarian's early years, beginning with the sacking of his village and the murder of his parents, and ending with his vengeance upon his first great enemy. Elements of several Howard stories have made their way into the screenplay (penned by director John Milius and Oliver Stone - yes, that Oliver Stone).

To date, Conan the Barbarian has been one of the few successful Swords and Sorcery movies to reach theaters. Other contenders (like Willow, Dragonheart, and Kull the Conqueror) have failed to follow in Conan's broad footsteps. The reasons for this film's effectiveness are not difficult to understand. It treats its characters and subject matter seriously without becoming lugubrious. There is some humor, but it is mostly underplayed, and Milius avoids any overt suggestions of camp. Conan the Barbarian is also adult in nature - the battles are bloody and the women take their clothes off. Most movies of the genre (including the Conan sequel) veer off into comic book territory, failing to treat their protagonists with dignity and cleaning things up to obtain the coveted PG-13 rating. Instead of the slightly overblown epic aura of Conan, most other films adopt a jokey tone. Even 17 years after its release, Conan the Barbarian still weaves a spell capable of ensorcelling fans of fantasy adventure.

As far as the DVD goes, sporting a brand new anamorphic transfer, the 2.35:1 image looks far better than it's widescreen transfer that came out a few years ago. The colors are rich and vibrant, and they appear to be oversaturated, but it's intentional. While it's not the best transfer of an old movie, it's very good. Images are clean and have a detail that looks fantastic in this new light, while edge enhancement and black levels are dead on. Along with the benefit of a new anamorphic transfer, there is a screen specific commentary with the director and Conan himself, Arnold Schwarzenegger that is very interesting. This is also the extended version with some bouns footage added back into the movie, which is always a nice touch. A featurette entitled "Conan Unchained" is also included as are the standard Production notes, cast bios and trailers. While some of Universal's Collector's Editions have some more material, some have less. This is about the middle of the road, but for fans of the movie (and you'e out there), you'll be more than happy with this new edition of Conan the Barbarian.

Rating:
Summary: Fantastic, but could have been more faithful to the books
Review: OK, I gave this epic slab of sword and sorcery cinema four stars instead of five because the screenplay is not based on any one specific Robert E. Howard story: John Milius and Oliver Stone wrote their own story and threw in incidents from various Howard books to add flavor (Thulsa Doom is a character of their own creation...in the books, Thoth Amon is Conan's arch-enemy; the details of Conan's youth are entirely different; Valeria is a minor character who appeared in the book "Conan The Warrior", which is set quite a bit later in Conan's life...in the film she is the love of his life, while in the novels he falls in love with Zenobia, etc.). That being said, the film DID capture the atmosphere of the Hyborian world quite nicely and the musical score is absolutely perfect (Basil Pouledoris' re-working of Karl Orf's Carmina Burana). The movie pulls off quite a feat in that it manages to tell a story and convey an atmosphere while making minimal use of dialog: facial expressions, brutal action, subtle interplay of light and shadow, and the awesome music take you back to a dangerous time when the world was young. Although Arnold Schwarzeneggar was perhaps not the best choice for the role (the Conan of the novels, with his Gaelic mannerisms, comes much closer to a young, buffed Sean Connery), I will forever identify him with the character after seeing the film. This is arguably the best movie in the fantasy genre; better than Dragon Slayer, Excaliber, and the animated Tolkien films combined. I make no excuses for liking escapist fantasy in the sword and sorcery vain...I'm sick of the leftist Hollywood elite telling me what to like, how to act, what to read, who to hang around with, and what I should consider "art"...if you feel the same way, see this movie (or others like it) and rejoice in the fact that you are enjoying yourself and are not trying to save the damn world. Oh, yeah, you will appreciate the film (and the books) more if you dig Nietzsche...

Rating:
Summary: My favorite fantasy film
Review: "Conan the Barbarian" has been my favorite fantasy film for the past two decades, and the "Lord of the Rings" trilogy hasn't changed anything. I was lucky enough to see it in the theater as a teenager, and have loved the film ever since for its enjoyable script, quirky acting and incredible music.

Since just about everything has been said at this point, I'll focus on the DVD itself -- in my opinion, well worth the money. The highlight is a nearly one-hour "making of" that ranks as one of the best I've seen so far on any DVD. The commentary by Schwartzenegger and Milius I could really have done without... there's little or nothing there to enlighten or entertain, and Schwartzenegger descends to a new level of cheesiness -- he almost seems to be drunk or stoned on something as he comments on the film. The rest of the special features are nothing to write home about... there's a 50-second "special effects" scene showing a meaningless split-screen of the scene where the demons try to take Conan's life. The "deleted scenes" section is short as well, and isn't very interesting.

I would have liked to have seen a separate featurette on the music, rather than giving it a paltry five minutes of coverage in the "making of" feature... as many know, this is one of the all-time film soundtrack greats and I would have liked to have known more about Poledouris' inspirations. It would also have been nice to see a dedicated featurette devoted to the Conan books, and Rob Howard's original vision of the character. There's really a lot more they could have included.

Overall the "collector's edition" DVD is decent, but not the sort of epic production this film deserves. I guess we should be grateful that we got even this much, given that this is more of a "cult" film than a recognized classic. If you already own the older DVD, I would recommend skipping this one -- the excellent "making of" featurette doesn't quite justify laying down the dough. If you don't have "Conan" yet on DVD however, treat yourself to this epic fantasy adventure -- it's violent and bloody but also an incredibly entertaining film -- pure candy for the eyes and ears, and with an interesting story to keep the mind occupied as well.

Rating:
Summary: Good Movie, Great DVD
Review: Conan as a movie is one of the few films that performs the fantasy setting well. Right from the beginning, there is a huge sense of epic scope, with great men shaping and forging a young, wild world. Not a single character in Conan is timid or petty - they all stand like giants in their world. Special effects are rarely used and never seem out of place. While the plot doesn't stray too much from a simple quest for revenge, director John Milius presents everything with such sheer charisma that I couldn't help but smile and soak it all in. This is not Citizen Kane, and Arnold is not Olivier, but the movie is entertaining nonetheless.

As a collector's edition, key deleted scenes were added, including a wonderful scene were Arnold does more acting than anywhere else in the movie! Right before the final battle, Conan has a rare moment of reflection on his life of fighting, and wonders at the meaning of it all. The producers thought no one would be able to understand Schwartzenegger, but I had absolutely no problem, and the scene fits the pace perfectly. Overall, the other "new" scenes don't add too much.

The "Making of" documentary is great, but the commentary by Schwartzenegger and Milius is priceless. During the scene where Valeria begs Conan to forget his revenge quest against Thulsa Doom and run away with her, Arnold comments in his wonderful Austrian accent, "Here Conan begins to get soft... listening to the women problems..." Classic Schwartzenegger bravado (or arrogance, depending on your view). John Milius is a very intelligent person, and certainly know quite a bit about history and the deep roots that inspired this movie, but I actually felt that Arnold provided the best insights into the film.

Rating:
Summary: Conan, what is best in life?
Review: To watch Conan the Barbarian, of course! Fantasy movies are generally bad. No other genre is looked down upon more. This is because most sword & sorcery films fall into one or more of the following traps:

1) They are dumbed down and bowdlerized to appeal to kids and their uptight parents (Willow, Red Sonja).

2) They are throwaway drive-in style B-movies which at best are so bad that they only entertain as unintentional comedy (Hawk the Slayer, Dungeons & Dragons, The Sword & The Sorcerer).

3) They are other genres disguised as sword & sorcery films such as Ladyhawke, which is a chick-flick and Dragonslayer which is a costume drama and an allegory for the draft in Vietnam.

4) (...) .

Conan laughs at all these inferior sword & sorcery movies. He crushes them, sees them driven before him and hears the lamentations of their fanboys.

While other fantasy movies are made by and for wimpy comic book nerds and effeminate Englishmen (or wannabe Englishmen), Conan was written by tough-guy Robert Howard from the overly macho panhandle of Texas, a landscape that would chew up quaint little hobbits and elves and spit them out. Conan was adapted for the screen by fellow tough-guy writer Oliver Stone and he-man director John Milius. You can tell already that no sobbing midgets need apply. Conan is for the red-blooded American male who enjoys violent entertainment and appreciates tall, leggy, heavily armed blondes.

Conan (Ahnuld) saw his entire community get Klu Kluxed by Rexor (former Oakland Raider Ben Davidson) and Forgrimm (bodybuilder Sven Ole Thorsen), two burly and scary henchmen for the Atlantean wizard Thulsa Doom (James Earl Jones). Conan sees his father torn to bits by armor-plated Rottweilers and Thulsa Doom even beheads Conan's mom as the seven-year-old watches! He is then sold into slavery. This is much better motivation for a story than magic rings, baby pricesses, flying bladed frisbees and other such nonsense.

For the next twenty years, Conan fights his way through one scrape after another and becomes the most fearsome fighter in the world. Along the way, he meets an archer named Subotai and a Valkyrie-like swordswoman named Valeria. Together they pillage one of Thulsa Doom's temples. But killing Doom's acolytes and stealing his gems isn't enough. When King Osric (Max Von Sydow) recruits Conan and his friends to find his daughter who has been brainwashed into joining Thulsa Doom's cult(a cross between Jonestown and the KKK), the fires of revenge are reignited in Conan. And NOBODY puts the smack down on bad guys like Conan! Heads, limbs, torsos and blood fly everywhere as the barbarian gets payback against Doom and his men.

Although there are such huge amounts of gore (including several highly artistic beheadings), it is strangely beautiful in the way it's filmed. Basil Poledouris' beautiful score is one of the best ever recorded and makes the bloodletting seem operatic.

Ahnuld brings Conan to life. Conan is actually a complex character, and somewhat retro. Too many other fantasy films have sensitive girlie-men getting in touch with their feminine side while swinging a sword. Conan laughs at these sissies! He has no time for such silly romance novel nonsense! The others don't even bother with acting or characters at all. In this case, though Schwarzenegger turns in a good performance -so much so that it's hard to think of anyone else in the role.

The real test for how good a movie is would be the villains. Thulsa Doom, Rexor and Forgrimm are perfectly cast and played. They are genuinely menacing and scary. Watching Ben Davidson who is terrifying in spite of only having three lines as Rexor makes me appreciate the dilemma facing the old AFL quarterbacks who played against him. James Earl Jones lends more than just a menacing Darth Vader voice here. He has real charisma and it doesn't seem so farfetched that he could lead young people into joining a cult and committing all kinds of fiendish acts (including turning the cult's victims into soup!). The villains are the most plausible part of this fantasy movie.

The one drawback is the sound. Buy the score on CD if you can, because mono doesn't do it justice. The cinematography is beautiful and the sets and costumes have a gritty real-world look. The weapons and armor are only slightly outlandish. A special thank you should go to Mother Nature, since she provided Milius with the best special effect in the movie: The Spanish countryside. The sunlight shining through the snowy forest at the beginning looks amazing, as do the the vast plains and bleak deserts.

This movie is more than just entertainment, it's a true work of art and it stands the test of time. Twenty-two years later, no other fantasy movie has even come close. And as Conan says "If you do not listen, then to hell with you!"

Rating:
Summary: One of the best action/adventure films of all time
Review: Everything clicked on Conan the Barbarian. The macho directing of John Milius, the screenplay by Milius and Oliver Stone, the fantastic production design by comic artist Ron Cobb, and last but certainly not least, the casting of Arnold Schwarzenegger in the role he was born to play, and the role that made him a global superstar. Arnie plays Conan, who after witnessing the death's of his parents at the hands of the evil Thulsa Doom (James Earl Jones), becomes a slave, then a pit fighting gladiator, and a theif as well, until ultimately realizing his destiny; and his undying quest for revenge. This is the perfect cinematic comic fantasy that is still regarded today as one of Arnold's best films, and one of the finest action/adventure films of all time. The DVD itself is worth noting as well: we get a nearly hour long documentary on the film, commentary from Milius and Arnie, trailers, deleted scenes, and more, plus the film is presented in all it's restored widescreen glory. All in all, if you own the old bare bones DVD, trash it and get this new edition; it is one of the few new editions that is worth getting.

Rating:
Summary: the best movie ever
Review: this movie and sergio leone's "The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly" are probably the two best movies ever. The symbolism in this movie is amazing. Arnold throwing the head of Thulsa Doom (flesh) off the platform and then throwing his sword (steel) is quite powerful. The head only makes a quite thud, while the sound of the sword echoes throughout the crowd. In the end, the words of Conan's father ring true, man can only trust steel.

Rating:
Summary: Caveman red meat and testosterone ¿ Arnold IS Conan!
Review: This is the best and most original sword and sorcery fantasy movie ever made. It has a raw and primal style that is simply not seen anymore on film in today's politically correct world.

Think of all the warrior-hero movies made during and since the 1990's - Dances with Wolves, Last of the Mohicans, Braveheart, Gladiator, Superman, Batman, Spider-man, Scorpion King and of course, the ultimate in feminine heroes - the Lord of the Rings trilogy; in every warrior-hero movie made since Conan the Barbarian, the heroes are afflicted with some degree of feminine sensitivity or other characteristics that mark them as "perfect mates" - sensitive and caring 90's males, in other words. Not so Conan the Barbarian.

Conan sees this woman Valeria, gives her the biggest jewel in the hoard that they've just stolen, and off with their clothes they go. Later, after Valeria pleads with him not to go after Thulsa Doom, he leaves her bed anyways. How's that for being the antithesis of the sensitive and caring 90's male, always thinking of the needs of the women? Valeria cries. She chases after him, rescues him, and swears to always be there for him and fight by his side. In the words of John Milius, what a Valkyrie!

More scenes that we would just not see in movies today - the Opening Sequence - Conan's mother, played by the exotically beautiful Nadiuska, is cornered by Thulsa Doom and his henchmen. For just a moment, Doom turns away and seems to offer her pity and mercy, then, THWACK, he cuts her head off! I think in previous viewings, I must have always had my eyes partly closed during this scene, because, watching this DVD, this is the first time that I've actually seen her head (with the light brown hair) fall to the ground at that moment. And in the next scene, her head and that of her husband are stuck on some pikes! Which we see as little Conan and the other village children are marched away to slavery. That's the first time I've noticed that too, watching this DVD.

Yes, and how about the Breeding scene! Conan in his gladiator days, kept in a cage, has a half naked and very worried looking woman shoved into the cage with him! While Conan's keepers stick around outside the cage, gawking, waiting for the show to start!

Some great quotes: "Conan, what is best in life?!" "To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and hear the lamentations of their women!" (paraphrasing Genghis Khan).

And Conan's prayer before the final battle - "Crom, I have never prayed to you before. I have no tongue for it. No one, not even you will remember if we were good men or bad, why we fought, or why we died. No, all that matters is that two stood against many, that's what's important. Valor pleases you, Crom, so grant me one request, grant me REVENGE! And if you do not listen, then the hell with you!"

What mainstream director would put stuff like that in a movie today?

The trio of Arnold, Sandahl Bergman, and Gerry Lopez, had just started their acting careers, and made the professional actors in the movie - Mako, Max Von Sydow, and James Earl Jones - look like they were overacting.

But that's the great thing about this expanded DVD. John Milius makes it clear in his commentary that he chose this trio for their physicality and how well their bodies fit into their roles. There was little dialogue - most of the acting was in the way the three main characters fought and carried themselves from scene to scene. The result was much like when Ray Park was chosen to portray Darth Maul in "Phantom Menace" - a spectacular fit.

I knew that Sandahl Bergman was a professional dancer, but the commentaries explain at last why Subotai came across so much like a Southern California surfer dude - Gerry Lopez WAS a Southern Cal surfer dude.

Basil Pouledouris's brilliant, operatic score, without a doubt, was one of the key distinguishing features that set this movie apart from all others. Pouledouris says it best on his website - scoring Conan the Barbarian was like scoring a silent movie - in the first 30 minutes of the movie, 27 minutes had NO DIALOGUE!! He knew that his music had to do the job of the dialogue, and he did perhaps the best work of his career with this movie soundtrack.

There are only a few forgettably bad moments in this classic movie - Valeria's snow bunny/thunder goddess outfit when she saves Conan was just awful. Valeria getting shot by the snake arrow on her RIGHT side, then in the next scene, as she lays dying, Conan pulls out the snake arrow from her LEFT side. The continuity director must have been on drugs that day. Valeria, so fluid and graceful, banging into these chains with her boots as she flips over the balcony right before the fight starts in the orgy chamber. Always wondered why they didn't re-shoot that scene. Valerie Quennessen as the Princess was probably the only miscast character - she comes across as a whiny brat and just has this grim look on her face throughout - couldn't see what Milius was talking about when he cast her because of a "vulnerable" quality about her. But then, she supposedly died in a car accident in 1989, so can't speak too ill of her.

And as we all know now, Arnold IS Conan. Just replace Cimmeria with Austria, and Aquilonia with California...... and, in time, he became a king by his own hand....destined to bear the jeweled crown of Aquilonia upon a troubled brow.....

I watched this movie twice when it first came out in 1982, in my last year of medical school. I didn't realize it at the time, but that would also be the last year that I would be a bachelor with no responsibilities in this world. And so this movie remains forever connected to that time of a carefree existence that no longer exists. Appropriately so, for this is a movie with a raw, carefree attitude that also no longer exists in moviemaking.

Rating:
Summary: defines the genre
Review: A film by John Milius

What can you say about Conan? Originally created as a pulp novel by Robert Howard, John Milius's film is the first reason Arnold Schwarzenegger became a star. It is a muscle-bound, B-Grade styled fantasy of a film about a warrior named Conan. It is also a good movie, if you like fantasy or movies with sword wielding barbarians. Since I do like those style of films (or books), this was right up my alley.

As a young boy, Conan's parents were murdered by a band of warriors who bore the banner of a serpent. Conan is pressed into slavery and he grows strong because of the physical labor demanded. Perhaps because of his strength he becomes a gladiator fighting to the death, but he always wins and gains acclaim from the crowd. When Conan (Arnold Schwarzenegger) manages his escape, he becomes a thief, robbing treasure and plunder with his partner. Conan comes to the attention of King Osric (Max Von Sydow), who sets Conan on a quest to rescue his daughter from Thulsa Doom (James Earl Jones).

It just so happens that the warriors who murdered Conan's family were led by Thulsa Doom, and Conan recognizes the banner of Thulsa Doom as the banner that flew on the day his parents were killed. We now add little splash of revenge to the picture and the set up to our story is complete.

"Conan the Barbarian" is a cut or two (no pun intended) above average fantasy film. You have magic, swords fighting, some comedy, and a heavily muscled warrior exacting his revenge. This film pretty much defines the genre, and it also set a standard that I'm not sure has been reached since 1982. This is a good movie, though not for everyone.

Rating:
Summary: Da Gray-test Moofie ever !
Review: This would have to be my all time favourite movie.
Alot of people have not given this film a fair go, this is easily Arnolds best work.
James Earl Jones as the villain Thulsa Doom is brilliant.
The whole cast done a fantastic job.
Written by Oliver Stone.
The soundtrack by Basil Poledouris is superb.
The cinematography is just awesome.
I dont know how this film was overlooked for an Acadamy award.
Yet Lord of the Rings done a clean sweep at the Oscars?
Conan the Barbarian IS the greatest Sword movie EVER !