Mystery Science Theater 3000 - Eegah

Rating:
Summary: Eegads!!!!
Review: This dvd is the original motion picture, not the "Mystery Science Theater 3000" episode. It does not matter because this movie is so awful it is funny even without color commentary. "Eegah" is inconceivably bad in all departments. This has the absolute worst dialogue the writer has ever heard on film (yes, even including "Plan Nine From Outer Space", "Glen or Glenda?", "The Creeping Terror" and other dishonorable mentions.) The acting is horrible from all participants. The plot is ludicrous as it involves a prehistoric giant falling in love with a teenage girl and holding her and her father in a cave while her boyfried comes to the rescue! However, the icing on the cake is the music. Do not be surprised if you find yourself rolling on the floor laughing upon hearing Arch Hall Jr. sing the wretched "I Love You Vickie."

Rating:
Summary: "Watch Out For Snakes, Indeed!"
Review: "Manos" may be worse, but this film is absolutely horrible. And thus a classic episode of MST3K is born!

"Eegah" stars the mostly mute Richard "Jaws" Kiel as the title character (his entire vocabulary consists of saying, "stemlow"). A neanderthal I suppose, although of a long-lived sort since the movie implies that he's thousands of years old (and yet no one has seen him until now?)

Anyhoo, the kinda-hot-but-not-really Roxie (Marylin Manning) is driving along one night and nearly runs over Eegah. Telling her father (Arch Hall Sr.) and boyfriend (Arch Hall Jr.) about what she's seen, the dad decides to look for the big creature himself and he's quickly captured by the irate Eegah. Roxie and Tom (Hall Jr.) search for dad in his dune buggy (with water in the tires, he reminds us about fourteen times). Roxie is captured and molested, Tom runs on foot through the desert whining, "Roxie!!" about four million times. Left to her own devices, she still manages to escape with daddy and eventually Eegah roams his way into a pool party where he's shot dead.

I cannot tell you just how bad this film is. From the inane songs Arch Hall Jr. attempts (and not successfully) to sing to the intense underacting of all involved, "Eegah" is one painful flick to sit through. Thank goodness for Joel 'n the 'bots, whose wisecracks 'n comments are just dead on perfect. Although in fairness, there is so much badness in the film itself that I think anyone could've made a decent roast of it.

As Mary Jo Pehl describes in the "Amazing Colossal Episode Guide" for MST3K, the relationship between Roxie and Dad is just plain wrong and it might be that they were off-screen lovers (which makes for some pretty bad on-screen chemestry between father 'n daughter).

Take particular note of the "cave" that Eegah lives in. It's really apparent that the walls are really just cheap, painted tarps. Also, look for an appearence by fellow bad director and movie maker Ray Dennis Steckler ("Incredably Strange Creatures...yada yada yada") at the pool party.

One line in particular from this film has become an MST3K staple over the years. It happens early on when Dad, Roxie, 'n Tom walk from the road into the desert. Just as they leave the screen, you can hear (strongly) the dubbed line, "Watch Out For Snakes!". It makes no sense whatsoever and thus, it's an instant classic.

If you are new to MST3K, then I would recommend that you purchase the Shorts volumes first to get an idea if you like this sorta thing. If you are a tried 'n true Mystie, then what are you waiting for? Buy this flick today!

Rating:
Summary: Eeyuck
Review: EEGAH is a wretchedly amateurish retelling of the Beauty and the Beast story. Written, directed and starring the notorious Arch Hall, Jr. it features wooden acting (mainly by Hall), a preposterous script and a smattering of terrible songs (totally Hall.) EEGAH stars Richard ("Jaws") Kiel in the title role, clad in a side split single strap skirt and hidden behind a ZZ Top beard.
EEGAH is just awful, and I wouldn't give it any stars if not for the dead-canary-in-the-coal-mine comments on the dvd jacket. The publicists call EEGAH one of those "rare existential movies" that is "really an avant-garde classic."
Some bored French intellectual is going to watch this discount dvd and cry `eureka.' They'll write an article in a publication you can't afford shoveling praise as high as an elephant's rump on a movie you haven't seen. The earth will stand still for a moment, Arch Hall, Jr. will become yet another secular saint and you'll be behind the curve yet again.
EEGAH can be had today for less than the price of a cup of iced latte. After he's `discovered' the only edition will be a $50 Criterion Collection edition with commentary tracks by Quentin Tarantino and Martin Scorcese. Do you really want that to happen?

Rating:
Summary: A great start
Review: This movie(and commentary by Joel and the 'bots) starts out slow, really slow and gets funny mid way through. In the end it is great. Arch Hall Jr. provides most of the laughs. The MST3K shorts are better though.

Rating:
Summary: One of my favorites!
Review: I absolutely love this episode! There are so many funny things happening that every time I watch it I catch a new joke. This episode also contains some of the lines that have become "inside jokes" for later episodes, such as "Watch out for snakes!" I would recommend this episode, as it is one my favorites, as well as a favorite of many MST3K fans. I don't want to give too much away, just believe me - it is funny. Living in Minnesota I've been a fan of the show since they were on public television.

I sure hope Rhino keeps releasing these on DVD, since the reruns are no longer on the air. So buy this to show your support for MST3K so they keep on releasing!!