Rating: Summary: Attack Of The Killer Subplots Review: Let me be perfectly honest: I enjoy campy, stupid, and bad films. So why do I hate "Octopus" so much? Because it tries too hard to work every possible worn out subplot imaginable into one movie, with results akin to making Jell-O with gravy instead of water. Some things just don't mix. In the end "Octopus" is 100 minutes of tortuous boredom and eye rolling sedation.
I would outline the plot if there was one, but there isn't. There are seemingly hundreds (I lost track after the tenth) of subplots masquerading as a story instead. There is a subplot about the Cuban missile crisis, and the sinking of a Soviet submarine with Anthrax on it. There is a subplot about an incompetent US agent who sees the Sofia, Bulgaria embassy blown up, yet will never use a gun. There is a subplot about a crazy US Navy officer who is the Captain of a nuclear submarine because he has been put out to pasture due to mental instability (yeah, right, that's the way it works.) There's a subplot about a cute female oceanographer along on the submarine who is always playing strip poker and running around in her underwear (and who has a cabin on the sub roughly the size of the Presidential Suite at the Waldorf-Astoria as well as her own personal chemistry laboratory.) There is a subplot about a terrorist loose on the submarine, which ties into another subplot (somehow) about a giant computer generated octopus chasing the submarine through underwater mountains, eventually sinking it. There are subplots about mutiny, cowardice, submarine hardware that has never existed, and the most unfathomable conspiracy ever. This is a conspiracy so big that terrorists have hijacked a cruise liner and plan to rendezvous with the submarine where the terrorist is, then sink it with bombs, yada, yada, yada.... Of course the octopus takes a crack at the ship, engulfing most of it and singling out the terrorists for special treatment. It also downs a helicopter. (Really.) Sound confusing? It is.
This movie is veritably scarred with the stupidest sets, the hokiest creature since "Robot Monster," and possibly the worst acting I have ever seen. No wonder we have never seen these people since. Yes the script is dismal, but the acting would make Ed Wood blush. I would especially like to single out David Beecroft who plays the loopy and arrogant submarine Captain in such an overblown manner that he makes William Shatner look like a positively understated Sir Laurence Olivier.
Avoid this movie at all costs.
Rating: Summary: So bad it's....just bad. Review: Man, this was a pretty painful movie. There's like a couple of different plots going on to create this mish mash of a movie. I wasn't expecting a whole lot from this movie, but I found it difficult at times to keep my eyes open I was so bored. And the direction of the movie seems to really suffer from lack of knowledge about how to effectively use particular shots. It was like a shot was set up to offer a moment of suspense, but then there was no payoff, and I found myself asking, "What was the point?" Another problem with this movie is that I was able to predict fairly accurately what was going to happen, who was going to live or die. One of the most obvious instances of this was at the beginning when the older agent was talking about how he had been on the job for like fifty years, and is dispensing his wisdom to the younger agent. At some point, I believe he says something about how's he's overdue for retirement...and you can take a wild guess what happens to him. And I found it fairly annoying how the male 'hero' is unable to act like a hero at many key points in the movie, especially when having to deal what's posed to us as the world's most dangerous terrorist, which makes the hero seem extremely ineffective and just plain useless. Actually, I found just about all the characters to be pretty annoying or just plain dumb and that put me in the position of rooting for the octopus, encouraging it to take as many of them as possible. There are a lot of scenes obviously copied from much better movies, but poor dialog, acting, and direction turn this effort into a big, heaping, steaming pile. Maybe it falls into the category 'so bad it's good', but not so much for me. I did get quite a few laughs from this turkey, but purchase at your own risk. You are warned.
Rating: Summary: Just Awful. Really. I mean, terrible. I'm not kidding. Review: Octopi are absolutely amazing creatures. With no bones, they can reshape their body incredibly and squeeze into tiny spaces. Their skin can change not only its color, but its very texture. Their tentacles are much suppler than a human hand, and the suction cups give them a grasp stronger than our own. Their beaks can break crab shells with ease. They have a natural jet propulsion system. Most importantly, octopi are very smart creatures.So the best this film can do is come up with a giant mutant octopus that can apparently barely move. It writhes its tentacles about with the lack of control of a newborn baby's hand. The poor beast is anemic, but rather than chase after a hearty meal of sperm whale, it picks off humans from a submarine. Now, the thing is bigger than the whole nuclear sub--would a lion feast on field mice, when a tasty impala is waiting around the bend? This film simply compounds idiocy on idiocy, with "special effects" that come from a low budget 50's movie. And of course, Hollywood has yet to discover the effects of explosive shock waves. Our plucky hero goes to certain doom with a bomb, deep underwater, yet manages to surface after the explosion without even a nosebleed. Okay, okay, so it's a B movie--well, no, a D or even F movie; and I'm not taking the proper attitude toward it. But what's the point of making a movie with a plot so silly, effects so childish (although one shot of the Octopus' mouth is pretty good), and acting so amateur? Personally I like my horror films to be smart and scary, not insulting. Octopus is a total waste of time, not even worth renting. Get Deep Rising instead, for a really terrific and frightening view of monsters from the deep.
Rating: Summary: Just Awful. Really. I mean, terrible. I'm not kidding. Review: Octopi are absolutely amazing creatures. With no bones, they can reshape their body incredibly and squeeze into tiny spaces. Their skin can change not only its color, but its very texture. Their tentacles are much suppler than a human hand, and the suction cups give them a grasp stronger than our own. Their beaks can break crab shells with ease. They have a natural jet propulsion system. Most importantly, octopi are very smart creatures. So the best this film can do is come up with a giant mutant octopus that can apparently barely move. It writhes its tentacles about with the lack of control of a newborn baby's hand. The poor beast is anemic, but rather than chase after a hearty meal of sperm whale, it picks off humans from a submarine. Now, the thing is bigger than the whole nuclear sub--would a lion feast on field mice, when a tasty impala is waiting around the bend? This film simply compounds idiocy on idiocy, with "special effects" that come from a low budget 50's movie. And of course, Hollywood has yet to discover the effects of explosive shock waves. Our plucky hero goes to certain doom with a bomb, deep underwater, yet manages to surface after the explosion without even a nosebleed. Okay, okay, so it's a B movie--well, no, a D or even F movie; and I'm not taking the proper attitude toward it. But what's the point of making a movie with a plot so silly, effects so childish (although one shot of the Octopus' mouth is pretty good), and acting so amateur? Personally I like my horror films to be smart and scary, not insulting. Octopus is a total waste of time, not even worth renting. Get Deep Rising instead, for a really terrific and frightening view of monsters from the deep.
Rating: Summary: Armageddon on the High Seas! Review: Octopus can easily be used as an educational tool. Some of the things I learned are: 1. Fat can help protect you from explosions. 2. Berlin, Germany, 1952, happening place to be. 3. Unrestrained beakers do not break in submarine crashes. 4. You can't swim with a skirt. 5. Corrosion does not occur to metal barrels at the bottom of the sea. I was just looking for a good movie for a Sunday night, but it is terrible...
Rating: Summary: Saw it on Sci-Fi. Review: Octopus is just another one of those "horror" movies where an animal somehow changes into a gigantic monster. This movie is not the least bit scary. But it is...entertaining. I agree with the past review, the acting did kind of [stinks]. And the plot was a bit far-fetched. You should only get this if you like big things, or just watch it on TV. I enjoyed it, but it could've been waaaaaaay better.
Rating: Summary: James Bond with mutant octopus Review: This is a quirky adventure with our reluctant hero charged with the return of an international terrorist to the united states and having to deal with his band of evil associates and an octopus who wants to stop all of them. The hero prevails and the bad guy and the octopus are sent to the other side. Lots of fun and well acted.
Rating: Summary: Get tentacled! Review: This movie has been unfairly denounced by some reviewers here and elsewhere, in my opinion! As an entry in the B-movie genre it is outstanding...it would be my first choice to see as a drive-in movie! So the octopus appears to morph into many different sizes throughout the film. Minor detail. This is a low-budget flick that has no pretensions! The square-jawed good guys are all lovably flawed, and although the character of Dr. Finch (played by Carolyn Lowery) was thrown in as eye candy and non-essential love interest which never quite lived up to expectations, I liked her character and her performance. Kudos to Rico Ross as Mr. Brickman, second-in-command on the doomed nuclear sub that is done in by both mutant octopus and truly stomach-turning on-board terrorist. Most of all, this film offers the talents of one of my favorite newcomers, George Stanchev, as young seaman Salvanto. He does a super job manning the sub's controls and his character's untimely demise tugs at our heartstrings. The video is worth it simply to see him flashing his brilliant smile. (He also portrayed "Davy" in the Monkees biopic "Daydream Believers".) Well, what are you waiting for? Go get "Octopus"!!
Rating: Summary: BRILL Review: THIS MOVIE IS GREAT GOOD SPECIAL EFFECTS GOOD ACTION GOOD PLOT MUST BUY NOW P.S SEQUEL IS POOR CASH IN NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS ONE
Rating: Summary: Get ready to Rock...topus! Review: This movie rocks!!! Think "The Hunt for Red October" meets "Aliens" meets "Close Encounters Of The Third Kind" meets "Titanic" meets "The Division". Jay Harrington (dreamboat!) of TV's "The Division" attempts to save the world from a giant radioactive Octopus, while fending off unstable submarine commanders, terrorists, smugglers, and the bends. While at times the romantic subplot felt forced, overall I felt that the movie did a fine job of balancing subtle comedic interplay and acerbic dialogue And the part where the mini sub blew up was awesome!
|