Battlefield Earth

Rating:
Summary: Splatterfield Dirt
Review: This movie is aweful. I watched it for about 45 minutes and decided I could be more productive with life and went to clip my toenails.

Travolta is one of the luckiest actors in Hollywood, he wouldn't know a good script or movie if it came up to him and said 'I wanna be a Scientologist'. Strangely enough, he seems to pull out modest hits occassionally. This is not one of them.

His choices of movies to star in are dubious, definitely hit and miss. More miss than hit. That's not to say he doesn't HAVE talent, I believe he does. He just has no idea what's good and what's bad, and this movie is definitely bad.

Rating:
Summary: Message for Jean-Luc:
Review: I hope you're joking, I really do. For if you aren't then I will personally come to your house and beat the living sense into you.

I too though that this would be a kick-a** sci-fi action flick, but I warn everybody out there: DON'T SEE IT! If you're into campy classics like Ed Wood films or Showgirls, then go ahead, I even dare you collectors of bad trash to buy it. But if you appriciate good cinema or have any faith in Jesus Christ whatsoever, then stay away from this one. It's considered one of the worst films of all time.

Rating:
Summary: A fun, action-filled movie worth every second of your time
Review: Battlefield Earth is an amazing movie. The plot is great, the acting is great (perfect casting all the way 'round -- every single character), and the special effects are brilliant. It is an amusing, exciting, and thoroughly entertaining sci-fi flick that is a pure joy to watch. But a great movie isn't complete without a great soundtrack to back it up -- and believe me Battlefield Earth does not disappoint. The music score/soundtrack is fantastic. When Jonnie runs for his life with bullets blazin' by him, its significance is amplified by the fact he is also running for the life of the entire human race. If he dies, humanity is doomed -- and the film's incredible music score captures this feeling perfectly, every step of the way. Battlefield Earth is a heroic tale, uplifting and memorable. Man do I love this movie. Or should I say, man ANIMAL do I love this movie. Heh.

Rating:
Summary: Someone owes me two hours of my life. That Travolta guy
Review: Well, I did learn one thing from watching this film - I no longer think that Lost In Space is the worst sci-fi movie ever made.

Travolta clearly let his deluded quasi-religious sentiments overwhelm any good sense he had when he decided to hatch this turkey. I'm amazed he didn't invite all his Scientologist chums to take part in this homage to Hubbard, but then Tom Cruise still has a movie career to think about, so he probably would have demurred.

If you thought Pulp Fiction featured the ultimate "Travolta in a coiffure from hell", think again. Then there's the outfits... I can imagine the conversation between Johnny and his special-effects guy -

"The Psychlos are really, really tall. Like twelve feet."
"Sorry, the whos???"
"Psychlos."
"Psychlos?"
"Yeah."
"Ooookay... *cough* well, we could do some CGI special effects for that."
"How much will that cost?"
"Ooooh - a few million."
"Ah. Youch. Thing is, thanks to this film, and being in such a high maintenence religion, I'm a bit strapped..."
"Okay, we'll just use platform boots, then."

To summarise... the plot is rubbish, the acting is rubbish, the special effects are rubbish, the script is rubbish, the costumes are rubbish.

I think that covers it.

Rating:
Summary: Gary Zukav must have been the movie science advisor.
Review: The "bad guy" costumes were plausible for space aliens nowadays as most anything goes. However the man creatures' attire was totally inappropriate for the situation and bordering on the reticules.
People have run the mental range from morons to illiterate to excelling down through the ages. But to think that you take someone who has trouble rubbing two sticks (one stick too many) together and teach him Euclid in 5 minutes is really stretching anyone's credibility. Putting "goat guy" in a flight simulator must make Air Force pilots feel special. Interesting that all this weaponry in the hands of professionals only take nine minutes to get defeated; but if you are ditzy you can give the bad guys a run for their money (gold) with a handful of the very same (mysteriously operable) weapons.
You would have gotten more action waving the flag (everyone knows what a flag is) then deciding a casual glance at the declaration of independence is going to inspire nomadic people that already have their society organized and relative freedom. For that matter are you going to inspire people with a mushy speech about a paper that has no relevance to them?
It did have the "Let's go get-um" feel and action of the movie "Independents Day"



Rating:
Summary: Man is an Endangered Species
Review: While Battlefield Earth is not totally faithful to the book, it does compare in quality to the excellent TV miniseries adaptation of Stephen King's "It". The actors were specifically chosen for their uncanny resemblance to each character in the book. Barry Pepper's stirring performance as Jonnie Goodboy Tyler is a story of an uneducated man who overcomes all obstacles placed before him. Tyler is an excellent role model for children constantly bombarded with insipid movies of less talented action heroes. Jonnie is the only person in his primitive village who notices there is something wrong with the land. On his search for an answer, he is captured by the conniving Psychlo Security Chief Terl, played by John Travolta. The movie pays homage to "Beneath the Planet of the Apes" when Jonnie and his two road friends are captured in an underground mall. Forest Whitaker's portrayal of Terl's dimwitted second in command is so convincing and believable, that it may be the greatest performance of his career. The only complaint I have is that Psychlos drink their Kerbango from saucers, not designer glasses.