Rating: 
Summary: Great Movie!!!
Review: I watched this movie once on MST3K... and I loved it! So I bought the movie! It's great!!! I would buy it if I were you, in fact, I would buy several copies of it... just hand them out in random direction on the street!!!
Rating:
Summary: one of the worst movies i've ever seen--i love it!
Review: if i had more money, i'd buy the unMSTed version of this movie. i think it's one of my favorite movies that MST3K ever did, but of my least favorite episodes. mike and the bots are not in top form on this one. the movie is great though. travis brooks stewart is awesome. the whole prostitute-turned-nun subplot was great. the music is really cool too. gratuitous voice-overs, plastic dinosaurs, what more do you want?
Rating:
Summary: 5 starz for the MST3K episode!
Review: In March 2001, I became a loyal fan of Mystery Science Theater 3000. (The first episode I saw was "Puma Man") Well, the first time I saw this horrible film on MST3K, I nearly died laughing! It is probably the most hilarious episode of MST3K in their final season. (Great commentary by Mike and the 'bots) The main synopsis of this putrid filth on film is that these dinos with exploding collers are sent to the future to kill humans and something else involving cyborgs. A Jeane-Claude Van Damme look-alike named Runaway is sent back in time to present day LA and meets up with a prostitute/druggie turned nun who lives in the house of the obese. Runaway then ends up in a crate factory where he confronts this cyborg who actually looks like an insane version of Alan Jackson (Tom Servo makes a point of this) They kickbox each other in a badly choreographed fight, which they end up doing again at the end where Runaway's shirt falls off of him (This scene was the stinger for the MST3K episode) The dinosaurs obviously look plasic, the story goes no where fast, the acting is some of the worst I have ever seen, the pathetic attempt at suspence and drama just falls flat on its face and the cyborg dude is a dumb.... On the big plus side, the stupidy of this film offered tons of hilarious dialogue for Mike and the 'bots and now is one of my favorite episodes. If you have to see this movie, you have to see the MST3K version! I promise you, you won't regret it. (However, for all you MSTies out there, you'll have to catch it on the Sci-Fi channel and tape it because so far it is not available on video or DVD)
Rating: 
Summary: Future shlock.
Review: Lets see now, it doesn't seem to be set in the future, it's not about war, and dinosaurs rule the land. Hmmm...definitely MST3K material. With a poor man's Jean-Claude VanDamm as the wooden hero, an ex-hooker/drug addict turned mini-skirt wearing novice as the heroine, and an assortment of LA pork loins and low lifes as their sidekicks, this is not to be believed, much less seen. Strictly no budget, straight-to-video, amateur hour stuff not event the kids could get into.
Rating:
Summary: DANIEL IN THE DINOSAUR'S DEN
Review: Oh, my, this is one bad movie. Martial arts hero Daniel Bernhardt is simply awful as a "runaway" from the future who comes back to Earth, which his people think is really "heaven." There he joins up with a renegade nun and some hood boys to take on dinosaur trackers and cyborgs who have come to take him back. Special effects are atrocious, the whole cast is terrible and this movie is a complete waste of time. Avoid at all costs.
Rating: 
Summary: One of the MST3K greats, but crappy film.
Review: The Mystery Science Theater 3000 version of this movie is funny as crap. This movie on its own is an abomination. The idea was interesting. A slave from Earth's future travels back to Earth's past, calling it Heaven, while being pursued by androids and "dinosaurs." However, the bottom-barrel budget and horrid acting make it almost unintentionally hilarious to watch.
The runaway (Daniel Bernhardt), who looks disturbingly similar to Van Damme, is good for only one thing, martial arts. Every scene in which he speaks, I crack up in laughter. "I preferred his grunting." MST3K's Mike replies. The nun who accompanies him is also not a talented actor, as every one of her lines comes out stilted and boring.
The "force-perspective puppet" dinosars were hilariously low budget, and the cardboard "camera" brought a tear to my eye. The android was hideously large-faced too. In short, watch this in it's MST3K incarnation and be prepared to laugh. "This is one of those times when a parent should have CRUSHED a child's dream of being a film-maker." says Crow.
Rating:
Summary: Man, machine and monsters erupt in brutal combat
Review: The stage is set when a slave from a distant world (Bernhardt) escapes from his cyborg captors and lands in a place he calls Heaven, but we know it as Earth. His freedom is short-lived when a relentless cyborg hunter (Robert Z'Dar) stops at nothing to track him down.
Rating:
Summary: Best Sci-fi movie of it's decade... Absolutely beautiful.
Review: This fantastic movie stars the incredible Daniel Bernhardt and a bunch of other top-notch actors. The 'hero' is a run-away slave, fleeing the Master Race of Cyborgs that have enslaved humankind in space! Fed up with slavery and abuse, Bernhardt jumps on a shuttle and heads to Earth, winding up in California. His former masters, however, have other plans! They've come after him, unwilling to lose even one of their precious servents... For the truth is, as advanced and powerful as the cyborgs are, they have one ultimate weakness- They lack opposable thumbs. Bernhardt, obviously equipped with very unique thumbs, must battle for his freedom against relentless cyborgs and their terrible dinosaur trackers! Also worth noting is the splendid use of cardboard boxes in this film. Quite frankly, I think they spent their entire budget on boxes. But you really have to see this to really believe it, and understand it's greatness.
Rating:
Summary: Come for the dinosaurs, stay for the laughs!
Review: This film was featured in an episode of "Mystery Science Theater 3000," and one viewing will show you why. The plot is simple: a runaway slave (Bernhardt) escapes from a spaceship to Earth, pursued by his cyborg masters and their dinosaur trackers. On the way he (literally) runs into a novice nun who is a former prostitute and drug addict. She helps him hide from the hunters, and he helps her sort out a crisis of faith. Along the way there are bad special effects, cheesy forced-perspective dinosaur puppets (held close to the camera, they seem massive), and diabolical acting. In spite of it all, this movie manages to transcind itself and become funny. The fight sequences are a riot, and the special effects are as good for laughs as anything "Dark Shadows" or the original "Star Trek" ever produced. And all in all, the storyline isn't any worse than that of "Jurassic Park" or "Star Wars"; the biggest failing is the low budget and too much reliance on fight scenes to carry the action. If you're looking for a film to pass the time or entertain friends, this one will do the trick ... especially for fans of the "Soap Opera Game" or Mystery Science Theater watchers who want to see the original movie uncut.
Rating:
Summary: Come for the dinosaurs, stay for the laughs!
Review: This film was featured in an episode of "Mystery Science Theater 3000," and one viewing will show you why. The plot is simple: a runaway slave (Bernhardt) escapes from a spaceship to Earth, pursued by his cyborg masters and their dinosaur trackers. On the way he (literally) runs into a novice nun who is a former prostitute and drug addict. She helps him hide from the hunters, and he helps her sort out a crisis of faith. Along the way there are bad special effects, cheesy forced-perspective dinosaur puppets (held close to the camera, they seem massive), and diabolical acting. In spite of it all, this movie manages to transcind itself and become funny. The fight sequences are a riot, and the special effects are as good for laughs as anything "Dark Shadows" or the original "Star Trek" ever produced. And all in all, the storyline isn't any worse than that of "Jurassic Park" or "Star Wars"; the biggest failing is the low budget and too much reliance on fight scenes to carry the action. If you're looking for a film to pass the time or entertain friends, this one will do the trick ... especially for fans of the "Soap Opera Game" or Mystery Science Theater watchers who want to see the original movie uncut.
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