Creepozoids

Rating:
Summary: Pretty Bland Stuff!Trashy!
Review: I saw this movie and it was nothing special, neat cheesy effects though, but the story didn't really go anywhere. Linnea Quigley looked good though and it didn't show just her nudity. They gave this movie a quick theatrical release before going on to video. They also tried to make a sequel to this trashy movie, but was never released. It probably would've gone straight to video if it did.

Rating:
Summary: exploitation at its best
Review: linnea quigley has to be the queen of scream there's are alot of females actesses that make that claim but linnea is the best.
Creepozoids is not one her best but worth adding to your linnea collection.I gave this movie a 5 stars because the ideal was there but sadly the budget was not.But anyway linnea is the best at what shes does and hopefully she will never change exploitation its her best trade.

Rating:
Summary: David DeCoteau's Creepozoids
Review: The year is 1998, six years after a nuclear war has leveled the earth. Don't you love sci-fi movies that make dire futuristic predictions, just so we can live through the very years that are supposed to be among mankind's worst? Anyway, a band of two women and three men, all army deserters, find a strange bunker laboratory where an experiment gone awry waits to pick them off one by one... if you have chills from this plot description, turn down your air conditioner. This same exact plot has been done to death in so many films, I am sick of mentioning it, although I just did. What is wrong with this film? Where do I begin?

The budget is so low, when characters run down the main laboratory hallway, you can tell it is obviously a self storage locker building someplace. The band of deserters have deserted the army, even though the long prologue tells us the earth is a burnt out shell. Who is the army fighting if everyone was killed by the nuclear fallout and acid rain? The army must also be desperate for recruits. Count how many times a creature or giant rat attacks someone while another cast members just stands there and watches, "frozen in fear." The creature, looking like a giant dung beetle (how appropriate, he should have started eating the script first), is never explained, except for some talk about amino acids. There is a scene that rips off "Alien"'s dinner time/chest explosion scene, except the budget was so low, the guy has a hissy fit and spits black goo. After most of the cast is killed, the lone survivor kills the creature. The creature then regenerates a killer baby through its head, and the survivor must fight the baby, eventually killing it by strangling it with its own umbilical cord... nice, huh? How did the baby regenerate? I do not know, and the film makers decided it was not important enough to explain.

Linnea Quigley finds time with all the hullabaloo and goings-on to have a shower quickie with one of the hunky deserters. The other female also tries to take a shower, but she forgot her death was scheduled at the same time, and prior commitments should be honored.

The monster lives in a room only accessed through ventilation shafts that lead to a desk where the compound's only computer rests. Everyone stares at the computer, then crawls under the desk to find some answers. The film is less than eighty minutes long, and is padded with cast members crawling around the ventilations shafts with flashlights...and crawling...and finding some goo...and crawling...and crawling some more. Watch for the end credits, perhaps the slowest credits scroll ever committed to celluloid.

So, what is a "creepozoid," anyway? I do not know, no one in the film ever says that word. This "Creepozoid," on the other hand, is a cheap gory mess that seems to have been written around Quigley's two nude scenes. Do not bother exerting any effort to see this, the film makers sure did not exert any effort to make this.

This is rated (R) for strong physical violence, gun violence, strong gore, profanity, female nudity, brief male nudity, some sexual content, and adult situations.