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The Astronaut's Wife

The Astronaut's Wife

List Price: $9.97
Your Price: $5.99
Product Info Reviews

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Rating: 1 stars
Summary: So bad it is defying the Geneva Convention.
Review: Imagine that you are out in the woods on a humid summer day. You have to move a log that has been on its side for at least a few weeks. Underneath the log are these grotesque bugs that look like a hybrid between insects and worms. They are enough to make you call for Ralph on the big white porcelain phone, if you know what I mean. Then imagine something repulsive enough to offend the bugs, multiply it by a million, and then you may have an inkling of how bad TAW is.

It is one those movies where all the people have bubbly personalities, fine clothes, nice homes, and not a hair out of place. The couple in this movie are two great-looking people who look even better together. What it all boils down to is tasteless icing applied to moldy rotten cake. The cake in this case is the plot, We're-being-invaded-by-aliens-and-nobody-believes-me. The plot in TAW is also a direct rip-off of SPECIES 2, a very bad movie. But at least SPECIES 2 had a few good special effects going for it. TAW has nothing.

This is so bad it does not even belong in the elite category of "so bad it's good". When those movies try to be serious, it's funny. Sometimes excrutiatingly funny. But with TAW, it's painful. EXCRUTIATINGLY painful.

And one more crime it commits (I could go on all day) is that it tries to appeal to science fiction/horror audiences. TAW is neither science fiction or horror. The closest thing I can compare it to are those daytime soap operas that try adding supernatural elements to the storylines when the writers run out of ideas. Only they stretched this soap opera out a half an hour longer and infused it with a lot less imagination.

So if you are a video store wanting to rent or buy something original, then check out just about anything else except for this stinker. But if you want to witness something truly unoriginal, poorly acted, and just plain bad, then check out TAW. Heck, it may just be your cup of tea- if your cup of tea is the same cup that your aunt Gertrude drops her cigarette ashes into to go along with the rancid, decaying, badly iced cake that I mentioned earlier.

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: Really, really, really stupid
Review: This is a really, really stupid movie with a dumb story and weak acting - Johnny Depp with an insane southern accent. And if you watch all the way to the end hoping it will get better, you'll be sorely disappointed, as it's the worst part of the whole sorry movie. Too weak to be a horror movie, too silly to be sci-fi, to sick to be any kind of love story .... whatever you're looking for, you won't find it here.

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: Boring....zzzzz
Review: This movie is a SLOW Rosemary's Baby from outer space. 'Nuff said!

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: Best Movie of the Century!!!!
Review: Acting, plot, and script were absolutely superb. Better than Basic Instinct or Saving Private Ryan. Should have won dozens of Oscars. A must own for everyone.

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: Total waste of time
Review: This film ranks among the 5 worst films I've ever seen. The story drags along and you just can't wait till it's over. I thought that Johnny Depp would be a guarantee of a certain level of quality. What can I say? - I was wrong!

Rating: 4 stars
Summary: Engages the viewer and never let's go
Review: although the film does drag in a few spots. I think that part of what makes this film work is the fact that you never are completely sure about what type of event occurred in outer space. The connection to other worlds is implied but never really solidified. It was nice to not have been spoon fed all of the details. More films should take this approach as the unseen and imagined is always more frightening than the obvious.

I applaud the filmakers because I felt like i've never seen a film like this before. In my mind it is truely original if not completely satisfying. But an enjoyable movie experience in any case.

As a viewer the fact that I was still interested in seeing what happens with just minutes remaining in the film is a testament to the quality of the effort. But one certainly must keep an open mind to appreciate the unorthodox nature of the film.

I wouldn't rate it as a purchase but it's certainly a must see film.

Rating: 2 stars
Summary: Stars over substance.
Review: I was really disappointed by this movie. I thought this was going to be somewhat of a sci-fi movie, but about the only action in the film occurs near the very end. I guess I shouldn't have been too disappointed; the title pretty much says it all.

The film revolves around the astronaut's wife (played by Charlize Theron). I was so bored by the opening half of the movie, that I never learned the characters names, I didn't care anything about them. Her husband (played by Johnny Depp) is in an accident in space, but after a brief hospital visit he makes a full recovery. Nevertheless, his wife notices some subtle changes in his behavior. Things aren't exactly what they appear to be.

This movie portrays itself as being a type of sci-fi movie (and it was labeled as such in the store I rented it), but it is really more of a thriller along the lines of WHAT LIES BENEATH (a far superior piece of cinematic magic). However, there isn't anything thrilling in this thriller.

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: Not Bad
Review: Okay Okay! The director isn't trying to make the movie cool or creepy just trying to fit 2 perect actors in a great movie! except they didn't have 1 thing... Something called intentional feelings! I mean the needed that!!!!!!! charlize theron is cute and johnny is SEXY!!! So it's must see movie! I mean it's awesome!

Rating: 3 stars
Summary: A flop with redeeming qualities.
Review: What was potentially supposed to be a good movie, as boasted by its promotional ads, is somewhat ruined by something (I say this because I can't quite pinpoint exactly what it is). But that doesn't mean the movie is a complete waste; it does contain a reasonably high level of suspense, and is visually interesting at times. The cast works to the best of their ability to make the characters authentic and believable, and director Rand Ravich creates a moody yet ultimately lackluster atmosphere of thrills with one or two chills tossed in for good measure.

Spencer Armacost and his wife, Jillian, live a happy life in Florida, where Spencer is an astronaut for NASA and Jillian is a second grade teacher. The film's opening scene lets us know they are married, showing the couple laying in bed, watching an old movie, Jillian lamenting how she will miss him when he goes up to space the following day to repair a crippled satellite. The launch goes well, and Spencer even finds time to call Jillian from space. Things get tense when Jillian sees a news report about an explosion in space involving Spencer and his partner, Alex Streck, and she is soon rushed to the base by NASA official Sherman Reese. Upon landing, the astronauts are rushed to the hospital ward and are soon released with clean bills of health. Following an awards ceremony to recognize the heroes, Spencer tells Jillian that he wants to quit flying and move to New York to work as an executive for an aerodynamics firm. Jillian agrees, though finding it quite strange.

At their going away party, Spencer's partner dies of multiple strokes, and at the funeral, his wife kills herself, supposedly over losing him. But there is more to that part of the story which comes in later in the plot. After the move to New York, Spencer becomes more mysterious in his mannerisms and behavior, and when Jillian soon discovers that she is pregnant with his twins, she feels that something is terribly wrong with the lives growing inside her, as well as with her husband.

With so much going on in the movie, you would think the story was solid gold. The truth is, the film is a good example of ingenuity, but there is still something missing, which keeps it from being a total winner. Perhaps it's the few yet ever-present points at which the movie moves slowly without much going on. Or it may be the ending, which will come as a letdown after all of the suspense and intensity that the movie puts forth for the first and second parts. One of these elements, or both, depending on your opinion, keep this film from being a three or four star film.

However, this suspense-laden story does manage to make your heart beat at certain times. Throughout the entire movie, there is an underlying of uneasiness through the music, which is constantly playing at points where the intensity is high. Jillian's visions of her children and flashbacks of events in her mind are quite interesting to look at. When things begin to go wrong after the mission ends, the story picks up the pace a bit with the move to New York, and it really never stops moving, not even in the anticlimactic ending.

The acting talents employed here are put to good use, though tend to sound a bit forced in the beginning. Johnny Depp, who does not have as much on-camera time as his co-star, does a good job of portraying the sinister Spencer, but it is clear that this movie is Theron's. Charlize Theron does a spectacular job of portraying Jillian, though it must be said that her performance in the beginning is less superior to her acting ability displayed in the end of the movie.

Overall, the film is not a total flop; it does have its defining moments, and proves that it can bring an acceptable amount of suspense to the screen. However, the movie does have its flaws, and should not be watched without realizing that there is the possibility of a letdown.

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: I Thought I Was Lost In Space
Review: Do yourself a favor and miss this flick. Johnny Depp returns from space after a trivial incident ('we lost contact for two minutes'-oh my!) and spends the rest of the film walking around acting like he's waiting for something to happen. His wife, suspicious of him for unknown reasons, might or might not be nutty. The other characters are barely in the film at all, although the obnoxious society women are the best part. I guess there was supposed to be some doubt as to whether Johnny Depp was an alien or not, the screenwriter seemed to think there was, but I didn't. The add campaign, which included some revealing dialogue which was apparently cut from the film (perhaps to maintain the imaginary ambiguity) left little doubt. I kept thinking, "Yeah yeah, he's an alien, can I go home now?" I spent the whole time waiting for the movie to start, then it ended.


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