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American Psycho (Unrated Version)

American Psycho (Unrated Version)

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Rating: 5 stars
Summary: It's Hip to be Square
Review: Hey! I haven't seen you in here before, but I *have* seen you, right---didn't we meet at Dorsia? Yeah, I know it's tough to get reservations there, but trust me---I can get them anytime. I'm connected with the Maitre D'. Dinner, say Friday, say eight? Where do you work out, anyway?

Since we're talking Movers and Shakers, let me introduce you to my homeskillet Patrick Bateman (Christian Bale, who completely owns the film)---he's the go-to guy in Mergers & Acquisitions at Pierce & Pierce, Wall Street investment banking hotshot, hooking up with Upper East Side fashion maven and society diva Evelyn Williams (Reese Witherspoon, compulsively consuming)---the lucky dog!---and frankly, between the two of us, the guy you want to talk to to cuff your links, tie your knots, and give you the low-down on the best shoes to accent your Hugo Boss or Armani. PC before PC was cool. Big on the enviroment, nuclear freeze, health care, education, helping out the poor and downtrodden, stamping out genocide in Sri Lanka. Boy Next Door.

Monster and Serial Killer.

Yep, Patrick is big on buying industrial nail guns, stapling witless prostitutes to the floor, touching them up with a little acid facial, topping that off with some mace, and storing their heads in his Sub-Zero high-end refrigerator/freezer unit. He wants to fit in, our Patrick, but you know, a man's got to have hobbies. Norman Bates said it perfectly when he noted "we all go a little crazy sometimes".

OK, granted, bad example. But Jesus, a man's got to---you know---*vent* sometimes.

When I heard they were making Bret Easton Ellis's study in psychosis and carnal yuppiedom "American Pyscho" into a movie, I thought it couldn't be done. Then I heard Mary Harron was helming it, and I sighed with bliss: Harron's "I Shot Andy Warhol" was a kind of cinematic kindred spirit to American Psycho, both delving into the mental states of complete gibbering lunatics no one took seriously.

I see you're staring at my shoes---they're Allen-Edmonds wingtips (USD 795). Oh, you're not? Where was I? Is that Donald Trump?

Anyway, the flick chronicles our man Bateman---a practical GQ fashion & hygiene expert, I might add!---in his days as Wall Street guru, his nights as impromptu surgeon. He's a great authority on Huey Lewis & the News, which you can hear on his state-of-the-art B&O surround sound system (USD 25,000), accompanied by Bateman's ever-astute commentary---that is, if you can hear it over the screams.

He exults in six-pack abs. He keeps his skin nice and taut and rosy with all sorts of unguents and admixtures. He has a great tan, compliments of his little tanning sarcophagus. He hits the club scene and comes home with dinner, dinner that talks and thinks and hopes. He keeps those abs bristling with daily workouts, accompanied to porn tapes and The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. He'd better damn sure have a better business card than you.

Harron takes liberties with Ellis's material, but captures the essentials like a champ. This isn't a gory flick---not by a longshot, given that the literary Bateman liked introducing a starving wharf rat into the nether regions of his victims---but it gets the point across.

Bateman tearing through a high end West Side penthouse with a chainsaw (my God, the boy has good aim!). Bateman administering the coup de grace to a bum, then stomping the bum's cowering doggy to death. Bateman feeding a kitten to the friendly neighborhood ATM (it says FEED ME A KITTEN---honestly, could you resist? Not I!). Bateman despairing at being outdone by his wretched rival Paul Allen (the incomparable Jared Leto, smirking and smarmy to the exceptionally bitter end).

From what's for dinner on the menu at New York's high end eateries (might I recommend the Dauphin Gratinois with the Lobster frappe?), to the existential agonies of getting a good table at Dorsia, to the shame of living in even a good Upper West Side apartment (with doorman), Harron nails the raw bloody guts of the No-Exit damnation lurking at the black, fetid, festering, maggot-ridden heart of High Society---or any society, for that matter. Cinematographer Andrzej Sekula gives Harron full air support---and he should, since he did the camera-work for Reservoir Dogs, Pulp Fiction, and Four Rooms. Stuff looks good here.

Bale put me off on my first viewing---his campy smile, his goofy voice, his off-kilter mannerisms---but he's perfect. Bateman isn't in control, after all: he thinks his mask is slipping, when it's already on the floor and shunting down the drain.

Frankly, all the acting is first-rate: Samantha Mathis Xanax'd to perfection as Bateman's mistress and free-range society delectation Courtney, Matt Ross as the hideous Luis Carruthers, Justin Theroux owning yet another bit part as Bryce, Josh Lucas note-perfect as McDermott, Chloe Sevigny is at her cringing, cloying best---my god, it's hard not to adore her---and Willem Dafoe as the police detective, looming like a stormcloud about to break that never really does, and proving---with his face alone---that Sam Raimi was off his rocker to even *think* about putting Dafoe in a mask as the Green Goblin. Fool.

Some call this satire. Ignore them. This is pure, unadulterated horror; Pat Bateman's midnight outtings are consequence and causality of our wearing one too many masks to placate society: the Beast must get out! It must eat!

Why are you staring at my tie (Forzieri, USD 275.00)? Nah, that's not blood---it's spaghetti sauce from lunch, silly. Anyway, I gotta hop---time is money, and I've got to return some videotapes.

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: It's all about time and place
Review: I think a lot of reviewers who are trashing this movie are doing so because they have absolutely no understanding of the context in which it is supposed to take place. I know that this is difficult for some people to understand, but because American Psycho is a satire, a COMEDY, it is really key to understand what is being made fun of, what the filmmaker's primary target is, before trashing this and saying you are all upset and disgusted and don't understand and want to cry. Indeed, if you have been living in a bunker for the last 25 years, or were born after the year 2000, you may not be aware of the existence of such "obscure" cultural phenomena as: the 80's, New York, yuppieness in general, Wall Street, techno music, cocaine, big hair, prostitution, and exactly why Paul Allen's apartment makes Bateman's heart sink. But that is not the fault of American Psycho. Also, while this movie is obviously a gory and "twisted" movie (to use everyone's favorite word) it is ultimately kind of innocent because it's just a joke, it is a big gaffe. Really it is not fair that this movie has 3.5 stars on average; really, the vast majority of negative reviewers of this movie are so undeveloped in their basic comprehension of what is going on here - shocking as that is - that their reviews seem pretty meaningless. That's just my opinion.

Rating: 4 stars
Summary: Always amusing
Review: Perhaps it is my dark humour, but I've always enjoyed this film. Never take it too seriously, however. If you're looking for a dark satire about Wall Street and corporate America in the '80s, you've got it. Plus, Christian Bale is beyond excellent. Rarely have I been disappointed with any of his films. Reese Witherspoon's character is a bit like her Legally Blonde one later, just slightly less ditzy (and far less pink).

Worth at least one watch, but I'd recommend buying it.

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: A Masterpiece! Why Don't People See That....
Review: I love this film. I am proud to say I was one of about 5 or 6 people in the theater when this was out. And I think I was the only one who laughed at the head in the fridge....
I can imagine many people who dislike this film went into it expecting maybe some kind of third-generation Dimension Films slasher flick. No guys, that's the sequel (it deserves no more mention that that).
First off, how many out there have read the book? How many are brave enough? It is a great work - occasionally long-winded, undoubtedly grotesque, but a classic nevertheless. It really does try to say something important about a time, a place, and a whole generation's mentality. Maybe why our Canuck and Lapplander friends don't get it? I don't know...
Most importantly, this film is an adaptation that is smart enough to understand and project many of the vital elements of the novel. I laughed at the dark humor in the book and I'm glad some other people got it to. Towards the end of the film, there is a funny thread of "How far can he go?" By the end, his murders are the only validation of his existence - and it's as if they never happened!
It's getting late and I'm sure I could write 20 pages about this film. Suffice it to say - read the book, watch the movie with your mind engaged, give it a chance. And the soundtrack rocks, too.


- "This confession has meant....nothing"


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