Rating: 
Summary: Very slow, but strangely fascinating.
Review: This one doesn't make a whole lot of sense, but it's still somewhat fun. Hurley and Kensit, on a larth, go off on a boat with drunken sailor Prochnow. Prochnow has a sort of shady past so there is a little bit of tension as sexual tension begins to develop between he and Hurley. Kensit seems jealous, although whether it's for Prochnow or Hurley we're never really sure.I don't mind not knowing what's going on, but I wish the filmmakers did. Twists seem to come out of nowhere with no rhyme or reason. At first, both women seem to view the skipper as a lesser being, a plaything for their amusement. Then Kensit acts like a spoiled brat for no adequately explained reason. The final twist comes out of left field. Sure, I was surprised, but if a big squid would have popped up in the last scene and ate the ship I would be surprised too. It doesn't mean it's a good ending. The mysterious coda is the only reason to recommend this other than T & A. Days later I found myself wondering exactly what did happen. I guess they deserve points for that. The DVD is pretty rare and cheap (in presentation). If you like Dead Calm, but are sick of watching it, get this. You might be pleasantly surprised.
Rating: 
Summary: Just Kill Me Now
Review: This was not a very good movie. I had to sheepishly explain to my wife why we had just wasted two hours of our valuable time. I had read some reviews that indicated that this movie was actually worth watching. Nothing could be farther from the truth! This movie was dry and boring the entire way through. And the suprise twist? An alien encounter would have made more sense. And the ending... If a story has to finish with a paragraph explaining or expounding the ending, then there is definitely something wrong. Unless a story is a true story or added for humor, beware of movies that end with a paragraph on the screen. It means that even the writer didn't like the screenplay. The only redeeming factor in this movie is that you get to see Elizabeth Hurley's chest, albeit from the side only. Anybody want to buy a slightly used copy?
Rating:
Summary: The cut just doesn't make it.
Review: Wanna make a low-budget movie and make a decent gross for your efforts? If you are not Roman Polanski and you cannot top Knife in the Water for its psychological dynamics and "who gets the girl" tension of two men on a boat with only one woman, then the best strategy is to resort to two women and one man. The dynamics can be just as interesting, if you have an implicit lesbian relationship and one of the gals strays to bunk down the guy. Jealousy rears its bitchy little head for the odd-girl out and this leads to all sorts of plot possibilities as well as an unexpected denoument.<>
What makes the ending of Kill Cruise really unexpected is that the film has had all the interesting sex scenes cut ouf of it so that the homicidal finale comes as a totally unbelievable surprise. If anyone will release the uncut version, complete with a lesbian sex scene between Hurley and Kensit, then the ending will make a lot more sense. Fat chance. The biggest unwritten rule in Hollywood is that once some actress makes it big, anything that she did early in her career that involves nudity and sex, much less Sapphic sex, is supressed for release whenever possible. What you have left, then, with Kill Cruise, is a love-hate triangle with the dynamics so implicit as to be uninterpretable and a decent acting job by Jurgen Prochnow. Don't bother; rent Knife in the Water instead.
Rating:
Summary: Pass the Dramamine.
Review: Watching this, you just KNOW that important bits were edited out to protect the current reputation of Ms. Hurley. The ending just comes out of left field - adding to the impression that something was taken out. There are hints of a more than sisterly relationship between the two female leads but not enough to shore up the finale. The only saving grace is the price is right!
Rating:
Summary: Pass the Dramamine.
Review: Watching this, you just KNOW that important bits were edited out to protect the current reputation of Ms. Hurley. The ending just comes out of left field - adding to the impression that something was taken out. There are hints of a more than sisterly relationship between the two female leads but not enough to shore up the finale. The only saving grace is the price is right!
Rating: 
Summary: Hypnotically bad
Review: Yes, I know this is a bad movie but for some reason it's got me hooked and I've watched it twice already. This may be because I'm trying to make sense of it, the plot really doesn't hang together even on long-distance inspection, but this is the closest Jurgen Prochnow has got to a boat since Das Boot and that alone gives it three stars in my book. Liz Hurley's accent wavers around from Essex girl to Sloan Ranger but she makes the most of the part, and Patsy Kensit does childish tantrums very well. It's a pity that's all she had to do because even done well they can get boring. Watching Prochnow handle the boat, and briefly Liz Hurley, is great fun but the twist at the end left me open-mouthed even the second time. I actually thought it must have been based on something that happened when the explanatory final paragraph came up, but now I'm back in the land of the sane I've got a feeling that isn't the case. Great fun though.
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